Summer Break

I am finally down to the last week of my spring quarter, and summer is just six short days away. I still have to pack my whole room away, study for final exams and say goodbye to the HUNDREDS of new besties I’ve made…but for right now, I think I’ll repeat my On Spring Break post, but this time, with Britney gifs.

Me, thinking about all the crafting and other fun activities that we’re going to do over spring break:

Walking out of class on the last day:

Bored, on the bus ride, then airplane ride home:

Gettin’ down at parties:

Just generally having a fun, San Diego summer with my besties, going to Hooters, talking to spirits and having sleepovers:

Six more days!

Love,

Elaine

The Pursuit of Happiness

So here I am, 3AM, sitting in my bed, and blogging from my phone (because my roommate is asleep and I don’t want to wake him with loud tapping on the keyboard). And at this very moment, although my night was somewhat a failure, I can honestly say I am very content with what I do have.

You see, not too long ago I told some of my friends that my goal for the semester was to get insanely drunk and wake up in some strange girl’s bed (hopefully strange in the sense that I don’t know her, not in the sense that she’s just bizarre). Of course I was mostly kidding– there are so many issues that stem from drunken one night stands: STDs, awkwardness, rape, pregnancy scares, etc. Trust me, I know. But there was still a little part of me that did want it. The “hook-up” is arguably the most popular form of relationship on campus (or at least the most public). In fact, hook-ups are almost the defining characteristic of any college’s social scene.

So why wouldn’t I want what was considered normal? I came to college with the expectation that I’d be going to crazy, themed frat parties, meeting random people and hooking up with them, if sobreity was no longer a hinderance.

I was disappointed on all counts. It was this elusive lifestyle that I wanted so much but found I never could fit into. I’m nothing like the guys at the frats with the girls crawling over them for the free booze and company. I don’t even mean that in a condescending way. We really are just different.

But today was the first weekend of the new semester, and it’s the beginning of a new decade. Now is the perfect time to change. Right?

This whole week I was looking forward to the parties tonight. It was going to be my first step into normalcy, the first time I would feel like I belonged to something. Plus recently I’d been hearing Kid Cudi’s “Pursuit of Happiness” playing on TV…

My pursuit of happiness was the ideal, somewhat steretypical college life fueled by alcohol, sex, and social ambition. I have friends who’ve accomplished it and are truly happy in college right now. Why couldn’t I fins my way in? I blamed my failure on everything but myself– the frat parties were too lame, the other guys were just more fit and attractive and the girls too shallow, I had not met the right people yet, I didn’t have anyone to really party with, the people in my dorm would never accomodate that lifestyle, and the list goes on.

But this time it would be different. This time I would stay at the party until I met new people. I would get drunk and just enjoy life. Just like in the Kid Cudi video.

Unsurprisingly, I was disappointed yet again. Unlike the Kid Cudi music video, I wasn’t drinking fancy champagne, I was drinking a mysterious blue concoction and I also didn’t have any room to dance and jump around. In fact, it was so packed, it was hard to simultaneously move and breathe. Although I was sprayed by various liquids, it wasn’t in the good spirits of popped champagne– people just kept on bumping into me and spilling their drinks.

After about 45 minutes of that, my friends and I immediately decided to leave. We tried to get into another frat party but there was no more space left inside and a crowd was building on the stoop. Out of options, we decided to go to the school-run late night eatery. There we ate fries, chips and an abandoned, unopened soda while playing Taboo. It wasn’t at all what we had planned for the night. But I had a legitimately good time, and I wasn’t even buzzed by that point (a cup of blue stuff and a beer wouldn’t last me even an hour).

Now that I’m back in the comfort of my bed, I’ve come to realize just what the destination of my pursuit of happiness is. I don’t think I’ll strive anymore to meet every person in the school, or to be able to walk around campus giving “what’s up man?”‘s to the thousands of guys I’m buddies with.

At home, in high school, and, now I’ve finally realized, here in New York, I only need a few friends, board games, and a little (or a lot of) alcohol to go around to have happiness.

But if any girls are willing, I wouldn’t mind trying the “hook-up” thing. Afterall, you don’t know until you’ve tried!

End of the Quarter Notes

Well, my first quarter here at SCAD is officially ending tomorrow.

I think that it went pretty well. My classes, to be honest, were pretty easy. But I think that this is mostly due to the teachers I got. Pretty much all the freshman had the same classes, and some people had fifteen hour drawing assignments on the weekend, or last minute 2D Design projects to work on…but I never really had any of that. Everything was pretty much in class and pretty easy. Not that I’m complaining. But even though there wasn’t a lot of work outside of class and stuff, I did learn a lot. Like comparing my first drawing project to my last one, you can actually see some legit improvement.

Outside of class, I’ve totally fallen in love with Savannah. I’m surprised by how much I like this kinda sleepy little town, but there’s something really charming about it. I like living in the historic district and that it’s a fifteen minute walk to “downtown”. (Hey, there is a Marc Jacobs here. That actually is kind of legit and exclusive.)

Socially, it’s okay. I mean, let’s be honest. I didn’t really have that many friends back in the Ranch, so I don’t know what I expected here. I’ve met a few people that I like and a few that I see sorta regularly, but I haven’t had any of the all-night adventures that Josh has had. But that’s okay. It takes time, right? Right?!?! And I know that I’ll find more people once I get into some film classes. Plus I’m lucky to have met some other Britney fans (including one pretty hardcore one).

All in all, I am happy here. Sometimes I wish that I had applied to SVA in New York, or that the College of Santa Fe hadn’t shut down before I applied…but I think I like it. I really took the fact that that production of Hedwig opened right after I got here as a sign that I’m supposed to be here. Sorry that that sounds so lame, but it’s true. You know how spiritual I am.

And now that the quarter is over, it’s time to go back home for seven weeks. Yup, seven. Thanksgiving and Hanukkah break are just rolled in to one, which is kind of nice because we don’t have to go back between them.

I’d like to conclude with two lists:

Five things I am most looking forward to about going home:

1. Having gallons of milk at my disposal! I miss drinking milk at every meal.
2. Not having to walk up four flights of stairs to get to my room.
3. Having my kitties and doggies.
4. Driving around in Josh’s 4Runner blasting Beyoncé, Blackout and “Chase the Morning”.
5. Mexican food!

Five things I will miss about SCAD/Savannah:

1. Being able to walk everywhere
2. The homeless man who sits by the empty store on Broughton Street playing the recorder, as well as the old man who walks around in a suit carrying a sign about following God and fighting Satan.
3. My posters, since they have to stay behind.
4. The Bay Street Theatre’s December show.
5. The millions of apples I steal from the cafeteria.

 

Just an Observation

For the past three days, Josh and I have talked for at least two hours a day.

I think homesickness may be starting to kick in.

The good old days.

Savannah!

Hello. Now I am in Savannah, Georgia. Things are pretty much settled in, so that’s good. The second week of classes began today. We’re on a quarter system and only have three classes per quarter, but each class meeting is two and a half hours, so it’s kind of intense.

Other than that…I haven’t done much. I’ve never been very good at making friends. Does anyone have any tips?

So, yeah. Unfortunately I don’t really have much to report. Except that the other day when I was walking down Savannah’s main drag (LOL! Pun SO intended!!) I saw this taped up in a music store:

Is it a sign? Let’s hope so.

XOXO,

Elaine

PS It’s really humid here. I don’t think I like humidity.

10 Things About Josh

Today has been an emotional day. I’ve been bursting into tears left and right. I spilled some Wild Cherry Pepsi on my laptop and I was nervously waiting for my Apple store appointment, fearing that my new laptop would be dead. Oh, and Josh left for college today.

But I thought that since Josh will soon be making new friends at Columbia, that I would make a list of things that these new people should know. It took me five years to realize all these things, so I’m doing all these new poeple a favor by just writing them out here.

1. If you want to ask Josh a question, you need to call him directly. He does this thing where he reads your texts, acknowledges it in his head, and then puts his phone back in his pocket. Occasionally he’ll text back, but if you really need to get an response quickly, just call.
2. If he says that he’ll be somewhere at 11, he’ll be there at 11:30 at the earliest.
3. If you ever need to use his cell phone or laptop, it’s all in French. This is just something that you will have to accept.
4. When Josh gets really excited about something, he puts his hands in his pockets and runs around in circles. Don’t be alarmed. It doesn’t happen too often, but it can be frightening the first time you see it.
5. He procrastinates a lot. He’s (obviously) really smart, but that’s just the way he works.
6. Josh will pretty much do anything you ask him if you ask him enough. This is something that he will later feel bad about, as he feels like he says yes too much. This is probably true.
7. Going off the last point, Josh will join too many clubs and take on too many responsibilities. Be a good friend and try to persuade him to restrict himself from all these things. I want Josh to stay sane throughout college.
8. Josh doesn’t sleep very much. And if there’s no food around, he won’t eat very much either.
9. Josh is a slow reader. He’s sort of slow at everything. Of course, this is because he’ll remember it all better later, but just at the time he’s doing it, it seems like it takes forever.
10. Sometimes Josh just gets overwhelmed by everything and needs a little breaky breaky. It’s best to accommodate these needs. Just give him a Britney Spears CD and let him recover for a bit.

So there you go, Josh’s new friends. Some facts about him and some tips from me. I’m looking forward to meeting you all.

Oh, and my laptop is just working fine again, by the way. Although they keys do feel a little sticky. Does anyone know a good way to clean under the keyboard?

It’s Josh, Bitch!

So the title of this post not only reflects my long absence from Bosh (WordPress tells me it’s been a month!), but it also addresses my selected topic: dorm room decor and first impressions.

First, let’s talk about my return to Bosh. Many of you should be aware of J+E<3 Production’s magnum opus “Bye Bye Britney”, the reason for my lack of Boshing. Add a vacation getaway to the Pacific Northwest, a nervous breakdown, technical difficulties, and a new-found addiction to nicotine and solitaire and that’s basically the last 4 weeks in a nutshell (not necessarily in that order). But now I’m back, and I actually have a lot that I want to blog about, so maybe I might get into one post a day! That is, until I start school and sit in my room and study all day.

Now onto the anecdotal part of the post (why am I using such big words today?).

Last night, I was washing my face and thinking about Britney Spears. The usual. The my sister pops her head in the bathroom and asks:

“So are you ready for college?”

“… I guess so…”

“Do you already know what posters you’re going to bring?”

“Actually I do!” So I showed her the posters I wanted to bring: my cool looking “Kill Bill” poster, my sexy “Pulp Fiction” poster, an art print that I stole from her room, a photograph of the Eiffel Tower, and then I showed her my really special posters: my “Repo: The Genetic Opera” poster, which I don’t think concerned my sister very much, and the real trouble maker, my “The Middle” poster.

Most of you have no idea what I’m talking about when I say “The Middle”, so I’m going to go ahead and post this photo for you.

"The Middle" starring Patricia Heaton.

Yes, that is Patricia Heaton in a unitard and cape. Yes, that is Patricia Heaton’s signature on the poster. Yes, I plan on bringing this to college.

You see, I had to wait in line at Comic Con for 30 minutes to get that poster signed. And even though Patricia Heaton is a bitch, it was worth it. And the poster really just holds too much meaning for me to leave it in San Diego.

Concerned, my sister urged: “Don’t bring that Josh. Are you bringing any posters of Britney Spears?”

“I don’t have any (yet),” (The thing in parantheses was said in my mind).

“Good, don’t bring any. Because your room is people’s first impression of you and you don’t want them to think you’re weird.”

I laughed and went back to washing my face, but it made me think… what do I want people’s impression of me to be? I mean, I’d rather have my room say “It’s Josh, Bitch!” than “I’m another Quentin Tarantino fan, Bitch!”. And if there was a way that I could get my room to literally speak the words “It’s Josh, Bitch!”, I’d do it. Of course, that’d annoy my roommate.

So, in order to help me assess what type of first impression I’m going to be putting out there, I’m going to list what I’m planning to put in my room and what each item says about me. I’ll let you decide which ones are correct first impressions and which are not.

Dorm Room Decor List:

1. “Kill Bill Volume One” poster says… “I love violence and gore!” OR “I am a serious Lucy Liu fan.” 
2. “Pulp Fiction” poster says… “LOL at Uma Thurman almost dying!” OR “LOL at sodomy and rape!” OR “I’m a badass motherfucker.”
3. “Ceci n’est pas une pipe” art print says… “I have a problem with tobacco.” OR “I’m not really an art person, I just like this print because there’s French on it.”


Translates to: "This is not a pipe."

4. “The Middle” poster says… “My mom is true a superhero!” OR “Patricia Heaton is my IDOL.”
5. “Repo!: The Genetic Opera” poster says… “I am into some obscure films.” OR “You should watch your back around me.”
6. “Showgirls” poster featuring a nude Elizabeth Berkley and suction cup pasties says… “I LIKE TITS.” OR “I really have a taste for classic film.”
7. Eiffel Tower photograph says… “Vive la France!” OR “I’ve never actually seen this landmark in person, but it’s really chic to be into French things.”
8. Britney Spears poster/collage/life size wax model says… “I love Britney Spears more than anything else on this earth!” OR “I am a flaming homosexual.” OR “I like really edgy music.”
9. Playbills from various shows such as “CATS”, “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”, and “CATS Jr.” say… “Okay, I’m a freak.” OR “I cried when Grizabella went up into the Heaviside Layer!”
10. Something Asian my parents will undoubtedly give me for good fortune says… “So I’m Chinese or Japanese or something?” OR “I have no idea what this says, but Asian art fascinates me” OR “I do nail, onry five dolla!”
11. Various photos of my friends and I say… “See, I’m not a complete loser!” OR “I don’t even know who these people are.”
12. Scary photo of Anthony Hopkins in “Silence of the Lambs” says… “FLY, FLY, FLY, FLY, FLY…” OR “I ❤ Cannibalism!” OR “This is my idea of attractive.”

Once my room is actually decorated, I’ll take a photo so you can all see how accurately I portrayed myself to unsuspecting people walking into my room.

Peace,

Josh

My First College Party!

College is so exciting!

Today I was browsing my “Furnald ’09/’10” Facebook group (you know, the one for all the Columbia freshmen and sophomores who are living in the nicest residence hall on campus– Furnald) and I found a mysterious link posted on the wall. Naturally, I clicked it, and lo and behold! My first college party!

The genius living in Room 420 is already planning a party for the first week-end of school! I’m sure the other residence halls have something like this planned but they call Furnald the “anti-social” dorm so it was really comforting to see the invite. Will I have friends afterall?

My only concern is that there are already 15 confirmed guests (I’m just a maybe, just in case I meet these people and don’t like them) and I’m pretty sure 420 is a single… so how are we going to fit a possible 20+ person party in a 120 sq ft. dorm (not to mention all the space the furnishings take)? I guess that’s all part of the experience.

I’ve also never done pot and since the event photo is a giant marijuana leaf, maybe I’ll get to try something new!

There’s a first time for everything right?

Except coke. I promised my nostrils I would never do coke.

Come on!! Is she or isn’t she?!!

This morning (or rather afternoon) I woke up with hopes that I’d be receiving my housing assignment from Columbia. They never told us a specific date other than “Late-June” but I just had a hunch since the housing website said that they were undergoing “updates” until today.

But instead I received a very disappointing email from Columbia Housing:

We know that you are anxious to get your housing assignment. Know that we are working on it and will be in touch with you by mid-July.

Great. Thanks. I’ll wait 15 more days for you to get your shit together.

JK Columbia Housing ILU (and hope you give me my first choice!)!!

But even more stressful than waiting for my housing info is waiting on Emma Watson!

Before last week I had learned to cope with the fact that Emma was going to Brown– but then came JustJared who said he had “proof” that she was actually coming to Columbia. The proof? A listing in the student directory under “Charlotte E. Watson”, Charlotte being her middle name. Obviously, I was ecstatic.

My hopes reborn, I went to Bwog.net, the coolest, meanest (and only?) Columbia blog, to confirm my dream. But some bitch of a student had to go and prove JustJared wrong. Apparently on LinkedIn there is a real Charlotte E. Watson who went to Columbia.

But now that my hopes have been reborn, I can’t just let them die again! I won’t believe she’s not coming to Columbia until she says she’s not!

So I’ve been checking her official website more than is normal and healthy. The main page hasn’t even been updated since Christmas.

(side note: did you know that Emma is 19?? Why is she so frickin’ old?)

So please, I’m begging someone reliable! I NEED to know if there is a possibility that Emma Watson will be living on my floor or not!

In preparation, I’ve already brainstormed some options for what to say when I first meet her. She’s asked for some anonymity to live out a normal college experience, so keep that in mind.

1. “Hi, I’m Josh… and you are?” This will make her think that I have no idea who she is! Of course the danger is, is that she’ll find out after we become best friends that I lied about not recognizing her.
2. “Hey, I’m Josh! I totally recognize you but I’ll let you introduce yourself so that you can feel like a normal person!” Not the strongest option, but maybe she’d chuckle?
3. “Hi, I’m Josh! I sit next to you in Lit Hum!” This one will only work if I sit next to her in Lit Hum. And if we aren’t in Lit Hum when I talk to her.
4. “Hi, I’m Josh… have you made any friends, because I sure haven’t and I’m desperate!” This one’s just honest.
5. “Hi, I’m Josh! I hear you speak French?” This is also a lie– I KNOW she speaks French.
6. “I’m Josh, want a beer?” This is probably my best bet to actually talking to her. Hopefully I’ll have a beer lying around.
7. “It’s really nice to meet you! What’s it like to go to Hogwarts? I honestly waited by my fireplace for a month after I turned eleven for my letter… It never came.” Once again, honesty, pure and simple.
8. “Hi, I’m Josh! Don’t worry about being bothered by people all the time– that’s what James Franco’s for.” That’s pretty funny right?
9. “Hi, I’m Josh! I’ll be your friend only if you’re interesting.” Straightforward and real.
10. “Hi, I’m… oh.” That’s me attempting to say hello, but then watching her walk away, pretending not to see me.

So which one’s your favorite? Do you have any other suggestions for me?

–Josh

ILU too Columbia!

So today was the day that I found out about most of my schools, and what a day it was!

I got rejected from Harvard, Yale, and Stanford and waitlisted at Princeton, but nay, not everything was so bleak!

I got into Columbia, and today they let me know that they really love me. And you know what, I love you too Columbia! I really do. And I’m not afraid to tell the whole world.

So it may be time for us to take the next step in our relationship.

That’s right readers– we may be moving in with eachother. Of course she’s just asking me to pay $400 first and then I’m waiting to see how much she’s willing to give me $$ wise and then we’ll be all set.

And one of Elaine and I’s favorite mottos is “Brit’s got a plan (get naked)”. So everything that happens, happens for a reason. And in the case of being rejected to Harvard, Yale, and Stanford, I am almost 100% sure that it was because of Britney Spears.

And to state another favorite motto of ours, “there are only two types of schools out there– ones that can hang with Brit and ones that are scared”.

Obviously, Harvard, Yale and Stanford are scared shitless (it’s no coincidence that their intitials can spell S-H-Y). Princeton’s scared, but really wants to hang out (that’s P for “pussy”), and Brown and Columbia just ain’t afraid to hit the floor with Brit (which is B for “Bitch” and C for “CHRISTMAS!!!” [see youtube video below]).

Given that Harvard and Yale are the more conservative (eeew!) Ivies, I have concluded that they do not appreciate Britney Spears and therefore do not support a healthy academic environment.

But both Berkeley and Columbia selected me for some sort of scholar program, so I know that I must belong at either of these places.

Once again, thank you Britney Spears. You never fail to lead me down the right path. And this time you have found me true, reciprocated love.

Yours truly,

Josh

P.S. You all have no idea how serious I actually am.

Wait Listed

I knew when I was sitting in sixth period English that today was the day. I was going to come home and find my decision letter from my first choice, Emerson College in my mail box. And I did. And those of you with an IQ higher than Forrest Gump’s have probably guessed the result by now.

My relationship with Emerson has not been an easy one. Back in September I first found the school and it was love at first web-browse. I applied for Early Action and was deferred. But I sucked it up, listened to everyone reassure me and settled in for the nice, long wait.

You know, it’s funny. When friends, relatives, past applicants, strangers on the Internet and teachers tell you that you should get in somewhere, you start to believe them. I mean, I knew from the start that it was a bit of reach, my stats were just a smidge – a smidge – lower. And I really expected my witty essay and passionate answers would get me in. I guess not, though. The admissions staff really must have laughed when they saw that I even applied for the Honors Program.

And I know, I know, I know. “At least you weren’t rejected!” STFU! I would almost rather be rejected. I would rather have this saga come to a close than have to wait until June 30 for a definite response. I just can’t handle it. I want to know now. I really loved Emerson. The more I read, the more I felt like it was the best possible place for little Elaine Gray, burgeoning woman and filmmaker. But, oh well. What can I do? I tried, and sometimes you just fail. I guess that’s the lesson here. And don’t worry, I will put my name on that damn wait list. I won’t lose anything (besides for a little emotional/mental stability come the end of June). I just feel like I need to totally disregard it as an option now and focus on my remaining choices.

Which, don’t get me wrong, are fantastic choices and I’d be lucky to go to either one. It’s just hard to let something go that you’ve been hoping for such a long time. (Well, seven months. But that’s kind of a long time when you’ve only got seventeen years under your belt).

But like our Lord and Savior, Britney Spears, says:

I got a plan, we can do it

just when you want it, baby, baby, baby.

As long as you want it

we can do it, baby, baby, baby.

I guess that Emerson College isn’t Brit’s plan for me. It will just take a little bit for me to be okay with that and move on. And then get my heart re-broken/filled with love and joy on June 30th.

Best wishes and better luck,

Elaine

“WTF IS DEFERRAL?”

Hello Bosh readers!

Today marked a semi-important day in the lives of Josh and Elaine. Today, Early Action decisions came out. Elaine eagerly awaited a letter from Emerson College, and Josh jetted home to see Yale’s decision.

So I’m going to cut all the bullshit and the suspense, but we were both…. drumroll please…. Deferred!

Here are our separate reactions to this disappointing news:

JOSH– Oh. That doesn’t suck. Hmmm… I guess I have to apply to all the other schools now won’t I? Oh well. Oh hey! Look they have stats… I guess I didn’t do that bad. “This year Yale admitted 13.4% of the Early Action pool, deferred 47.6%, and denied 38.3%,” says Admissions Office. At least this letter has proper English grammar. And at least Elaine got deferred too. I wonder why they didn’t like me… was it because of Britney? That might freak people out. Or maybe it’s because they could read my mind and knew Yale wasn’t my first choice and that I was just taking advantage of their non-binding Early Action program? They are smart cookies those Yale folk. Now I’m going to call Elaine and reassure her that she’s not a nub…

ELAINE–WTF IS DEFERRAL??!?!?! WHY THE HELL DID I WORK MY ASS OFF TO GET EVERYTHING DONE BY THE EARLY ACTION DEADLINE ONLY TO GET DEFERRED???? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! I HAVE TO CALL JOSH!!!!!! Oh. Josh said that it means that they don’t want to accept all the Early Action people so that there are no spaces left for the Regulars. But still. I’m pissed and dissappointed. And embarrassed that I actually spent a few moments meditating on getting accepted. I was just really anxious for an answer and didn’t even realize that “deferral” was an option. So I feel kind of frustrated. But oh well. I only have to wait four and a half months to find out the read decision for my top choice. At least I finished the application. And at least I wasn’t flat out rejected. It still sucks.

I’ve Finally Been Accepted!

Well, who would have ever thought that between Josh and I, that I would get the first college acceptance letter? I’ve officially been accepted to the Savannah College of Art and Design, and have been awarded an Acedemic Honors Scholarship for $8,000 every year! (The only place that I will ever receive an Academic Honors Scholarship will be an art school).

Even though SCAD isn’t my top choice  (it’s probably my third choice) I know that I would be happy at the school and in Savannah. At first I was scared that Georgia would be too hicky and southerny, but I visited it last year and it is a very cute little town that I think I could live in. And having an enormous art school right there obviously brings lots of strage, cultured twenty-somethings.

Getting accepted to a college suddenly fills me with hope and joy. I feel like Sal Piro the first time he saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show, or Elizabeth Berkeley when they told her that she landed the lead in Showgirls.

But it’s not over yet. I’d be happy at SCAD, but I would lovelovelove to go to Emerson. I’ll find out by the 15th of this month. Use The Secret for me, babies.

I have a few apps left over to fill out, and I’d like to wrap all that up by January. It’s crazy to look at my list and know that I’ll end up in either Boston, Savannah, Santa Fe, Hollywood or San Francisco next year. Yikes!

But for now I feel content and proud.

Between this and Britmas, Decemeber is shaping up to be an excellent month!

SCAD

Back to Reality

Well, Thanksgiving break is over and it’s time to go back to school. I would rather become a nub then return to school. I know, that’s extreme. But I think that it’s true.

I literally do NOTHING at school. This is not an exaggeration. I have had little to no homework and have only had two actual projects which required no brain usage. The only thing I do is my internship, and I don’t really even consider that school because it’s just fun.

I have gotten more done over this week long break than in the three months of school. Co-writing a short film and two songs, learning a Beyonce dance, editing a nine minute movie…and those are all things that I would so much rather be doing.

Thank God and Jesus and Rhonda Byrnes that “Circus” is released on Tuesday. But there’s even a problem with that! Like nubs, we assumed that the first Tuesday of the month was a half day,  we wanted to take the day off of school to center is all aroung Brit, but it turns out that it’s a full day. Can we really miss a full day? I know that I can. But Josh actually has some real classes and does some real work, so there’s a problem. I just wanted “Circus” to be out and to be able to listen to Britney all the time.

And I don’t even want to talk about college. Ugh. I got Emerson, SCAD, SFSU and CSU Fullerton applications done, which includes my first and third choice, but I still have more. CSF, CCH, St. Thomas and Hampshire (no app fee!) and U of Colorado (which I’m unsure about but I think that it would make my mom happy since she went there).

At least Brit’s documentary, “On the Record” is on tonight! MTV at 10!!

I just can’t wait to graduate. Or even better, I just can’t wait to be dancing/screaming/singing/crying at the Britney concert.

The 2008 “America’s Top East Coast College Rankings” (by Josh)

Hello future anxious college applicant, this is current anxious college applicant Josh here with the official release of the 2008 Top East Coast College Rankings.

Now, I don’t actually believe in college rankings, which might make you wonder, “why did you create your own college ranking?” And that is because I have decided to rank all of the east coast colleges in America along a number of different categories that matter to me. There’s no konky formula, no stats. It’s just my raw, biased opinion.

And in that respect, my rankings are just as good as US News’!

You might also be wondering, “why just the east coast?” and “why are there only 6 colleges?” The answer is simple: these are the only 6 I visited. You’re on your own with the other 482.

Now on to the rankings!

PRE-VISIT IMPRESSION:

1. Columbia
2. Yale
3. Brown
4. Princeton
5. Harvard
6. MIT

AWESOMENESS OF SURROUNDING CITY/TOWN/VILLAGE:

1. Harvard (Cambridge/Boston, MA)
2. MIT (Cambridge/Boston, MA)
3. Columbia (New York City, NY)
4. Brown (Providence, RI)
5. Yale (New Haven, CT)
6. Princeton (Princeton, NJ)

COOLNESS OF TOUR GUIDE (excluding Emily, the super cool underground tour guide):

1. Columbia (Heather, hip asian girl)
2. Harvard (Carl, San Diegan drama artiste)
3. Yale (Matt, preppy J-Crew sweater guy)
4. Princeton (Matt, flamboyant Religion major)
5. Brown (Vitash?, pretty cool Indian guy)

MIT (Mark, human robot/über dweeb) is not ranked in this category because it doesn’t even deserve number 6. ABSOLUTE ABOMINATION.

GENERAL IMPRESSION OF CAMPUS AESTHETICS:

1. Princeton (for simply being amazing)
2. Yale (for it’s many maple trees)
3. Brown (for the beautiful Lincoln Field and Van Wickle gates)
4. Harvard (for a disappointing Harvard Yard)
5. Columbia (for its small size, and somewhat run-down condition)
6. MIT (again, ABSOLUTE ABOMINATION)

FOOD, EITHER FROM DINING HALL OR CAMPUS CAFETERIAS:

1. Princeton (an award-winning cafeteria?!)
2. Columbia (I had a pretty good chicken breast sandwich)
3. Brown (ate at the dining hall, large selection!)
4. Harvard (decent Chinese, but wasn’t university affiliated…)

Yale and MIT are not ranked because I did not eat there.

BADASSINESS OF STUDENT POPULATION:

1. Columbia (student quote: “dude, all I do is sit here all day and smoke.”)
2. Princeton (from the many stories Emily, underground tourguide, tells me)
3. Yale (two students smoking in dorm and staring at the tour group, laughing)
4. Harvard (just using my imagination…)
5. MIT (for all those, sometimes clever, “hacks” they do)
6. Brown (I honestly just have no idea)

ACCESSIBILITY TO ILLICIT SUBSTANCES:

This is a six-way tie for number one.

LIKELIHOOD MY PARENTS WOULD VISIT ME OFTEN (in this case, #1 is the worst):

1. Brown (the city is too pleasant)
2. Princeton (the surrounding town has too much available real estate for comfort)
3. Harvard (again, too pleasant of a city, and there’s an Inn on campus)
4. Yale (pleasant town, but hard to get to without a car)
5. MIT (atrocious school, but good location)
6. Columbia (I can assure you, my parents will never want to come to NYC)

OVERALL RANKING:

1. Harvard University
2. Columbia University
3. Princeton University
4. Yale University
5. Brown University

MIT sucked so bad, it doesn’t get a ranking.