Posts Tagged 'Eddie Izzard'

Bad Movies, Good People

If I am anything, I am a loyal fan. When I find some actor/filmmaker/artist/personality that I really like, I will do pretty much anything for that person. And by that, I mean seeing all the bad movies they’ve been in. I was just thinking about all my famous “friends”, and the absolute shit that I’ve sat through to see them (be it for one brief moment in a Hollywood blockbuster, or a starring role in an independent flop) and I thought I’d share some of them with you.

  • Band of the Hand

I saw this lost gem for that little guy in the yellow shirt and dyed hair. That, my friends, is baby John Cameron Mitchell. The film itself if an 80’s movie about a group of five troublemakers, who get the choice of living in the jungle for a bit, or going to jail. They choose the jungle, and learn all about themselves and each other. The Breakfast Club in nature. It obviously sucks. But JCM is so damn cute with his orange hair and painted on tattoos. If we continue The Breakfast Club analogy, then he was the Ally Sheedy character. I will leave you with a quote from a review someone posted on Netflix about this movie that I really enjoyed, “The scenery and photography is artistic and beautiful but not so artistic that it would be considered artsy.” That, ladies and gentleman, is the greatest thing said about any movie, ever. Too bad it was wasted on this piece of shit that no one has ever seen. Except for John Cameron Mitchell, John Cameron Mitchell’s mom, and me.

  • All the Queen’s Men

I’ve seen the most bad movies for my fave British, transvestite, comedian/actor Eddie Izzard (no offense to all the other British, transvestite comedian/actors out there). In his quest for legitimate acting gigs, I think he just took any role that came his way. And no one, no matter how desperate they are, should EVER take a film role opposite Matt LeBlanc. I explored All the Queen’s Men in more detail in this post.

  • Pecker

The only John Waters movie I didn’t like. The only John Waters movie that is just straight up bad. (Note: we have to judge JWat’s films on a different kind of scale, since all his movies are technically, “bad”.) It’s fairly dull, and nothing too exciting happens. A lot of fans hate everything post Desperate Living…but, people, after he got that studio money and mainstream support from Hairspray, he just couldn’t make movies like Pink Flamingos anymore, let’s be real. But, I feel like he managed to work a sort of “filth-lite” charm into other films like Serial Mom or Cecil B. Demented…this one just didn’t work out. The fake trashiness was forced, so that it seemed like someone trying to recreate what they think a John Waters movie should be. Oh, well. They can’t all be winners. And there is a good moment where Christina Ricci screams, “I HATE MODERN ART.” That’s cute.

  • Gunslinger’s Revenge

One of the most laughably bad movies I’ve ever seen. It stars Harvey Keitel, and is an Italian spaghetti western. And also featurs David Bowie. I won’t bore you with the plot (mostly because I can’t remember it) BUT ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW is that David Bowie, who plays the bad guy, utters the following statement to a barmaid: “You’re a lucky woman. I ain’t gonna kill you. Today, I’m just gonna rape you.” BAD MOVIE BLISS.

  • Hudson Hawk

For dear Richard E. Grant, star of Withnail and I. Unfortunately, this big-budget, Bruce Willis-starring, action/”comedy” was no where near similar to the beautiful subtley and British wit of Withnail. The Showgirls of action movies. And not in a good way. REG was cute as the villain with Sandra Bernhard as his partner in crime, though.

  • Say Uncle

And enter the Queer as Folk obsession. Peter Paige, the flamboyant Emmet from QAF, attempted the tricky trio of writing/directing/starring in this “dark comedy”, about a gay man who tries to work as a babysitter in a suburban neighbor, which ends up distressing the residents. Oh, Peter. Stay in front of the camera, my friend. It takes some skill to make a funny movie about supposed child molestation…

  • Particles of Truth

Another attempt by the QAF gang, this time starring the beautiful Gale Harold. (Isn’t Gale a really nice name?) Anyways, this suffers from the same delusion of Say Uncle, with firsttimer Jennifer Elster writing/directing/starring in the film opposite Gale. All I can remember is artsy shots of him shaving (which would definitely be “so artistic that it would be considered artsy”, and not in a good way) and her entering some kind of club and getting mauled by German Shepards and then being raped. I think it was about finding yourself, or some shit like that.

  • Holding Trevor

This was really disappointing, because it took years (literally) to be released on DVD, and once it was, I couldn’t even get through it. Starring the cutest boy in the world, Jay Brannan, it was billed as some kind of gay coming-of-age in the big city kind of thing. Not the most unique story in the world, but anything for my little, shaved, singer/songwriter. Long story short, I hated all the characters and didn’t give a shit about their identity crises. Not even Jay was enough to finish the movie. Why does all gay, independent cinema suck so bad? (That’s another post all together!)

And that’s just a sampling of some of the sucky-ass movies I seen for the people I love. And we didn’t even talk about The L Word gang, or Elizabeth Berkley’s Lifetime movies! . Why do I torture myself like this? I wish I knew. I just love collecting these bad movies, I suppose. And seeing these people move through their careers really touches me. I mean, look at Eddie Izzard now! From Matt LeBlanc to Tom Cruise!

Anyways, I suppose that the moral of this post is that I lack appropriate judgment skills, and will blindly be led by obsessions with people who will never know I exist to consume all of their work. Is that normal?

Now I really want to re-watch Queer as Folk.

Love,

Elaine

Inspirations

Our third essay in Composition is supposed to be ten to twelve pages long on the topic of “who is your inspiration, and how have they played in a part in you pursuing what it is that you are pursing?” (I’m sure that there’s a more elegant way to say that.)

It doesn’t necessarily have to be why you’re at SCAD – the professor clarified this after someone raised their hand and said, “But my muse is Jesus Christ” (I think I might have audibly LOLed) – but, that would probably play into it.

So I figured that I would make a list of possibilities that I have to choose from to help me narrow it down and get started.

John Cameron Mitchell

I think that we all know by now how I fee about JCM (and OMG how cute is he in that picture?!) and while I could definitely write twelve pages on him and and the pretend relationship that I like to imagine we have, I already wrote about him and Hedwig for my first essay.

John Waters

JWat is a fairly viable option for this. In fact, he might be the best option. He’s a strange little man with even stranger obsessions. However, it’s possible that I’ll be immediately expelled from the film program for citing him as inspiration. Besides, JWat left (read: was expelled for smoking pot in his dorm room) NYU, where he would have studied film, within his first month there in order to go out and make movies on his own.

Andy Warhol

SO FUCKING CLICHE I DON’T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. Plus, let’s be honest here. His movies are fucking boring.

Todd Solondz

I have always imagined that any movies I write/make would be closest in tone to those made by Mr. Solondz. I really don’t know much about him…maybe this is a good opportunity to learn more?

Eddie Izzard

Okay, now this has just become a list of people I like. But while we’re talking about Eddie, last night I watched his documentary BELIEVE: The Eddie Izzard Story. Now, I know that you’re thinking, “I luv Eddie, but why did this bitch need a documentary?” and I have to admit that I thought the same thing. But after watching it for free online (courtesy of EpixHD) I found it to be funny, sweet, and surprisingly touching. My favorite part? That Eddie missed the Emmy ceremony where he won two Emmy’s for Dressed to Kill, to be on location shooting All the Queens Men! LOLx1000!!

Britney Jean Spears

Similar to the person who asked about using Jesus Christ for their paper.

In conclusion…I don’t know who I’m going to choose. But I have a few weeks to figure it out.

Best Wishes,

Elaine

Happy Birthday, Eddie Izzard!!

Dearest Eddie,

Happy Birthday, baby Eddie. I love you. I miss you. We really haven’t spent much quality together recently. Sorry about The Riches. Tough break. But I liked it, so who cares what the masses say?!

Since we met back in ’05 you’ve grown so much, as a person and in your career. (At least I’m assuming you’ve grown as a person…we’ve never…really…met…). But look what you’ve gone from in these four years: little known cult favorite to starring in your on television show and acting next to Tom Cruise! It’s a far cry from All the Queen’s Men!

Anyways, Eddie, I know you’re a  busy boy so I’ll wrap this up. Thanks for always making me laugh and for coming to San Diego to visit me over the summer. Much luck with your future endeavors, and I pray that one day Diva 51 is released. Could I also ask you a favor? Please, please, please make another movie with Matt LeBlanc, you two a dream team! LOL, JK!! But what I really want is the “Stripped” CD/DVD to be released pronto!

Happy 47th!!

Love,

Elaine

eddie_izzard_99

To the Other Three People That Watch “The Riches”

It’s no secret that I have been obsessed with British, transvestite comedian/”actor” Eddie Izzard since ninth grade.

I’ve religiously memorized his stand-up routines and rented all his shitty movies. (Sorry, Eddie!)

I even got to see his show live this summer <33333

But one of the most exciting things for Eddie fans was the television series The Riches. And unlike many of his other acting pursuits, it was actually good.

For those of you who didn’t watch it (i.e. anyone who is not an Eddie Izzard fan) the show follows a family of gypsy/con-artists who, through a wacky series of events, end up assuming the identity of a well-to-do family, and have to live the lie.

Well, do the fact that no one watched it (despite it’s critical acclaim and Emmy nomination) it was canceled. It ran two good seasons. It will be deeply missed.

But I read today that…

“I’ve posed to the heads of FX and TBS that we want to make a film. And they said, “Right, we’ll support you.” “Eddie hopes to raise finances for the silver screen version of The Riches on the Internet. He also wants to make it a “road move, shooting in Louisiana and New Mexico, everywhere that they steal,” he exclaims. “We’ll do it by the skin on our teeth.” (from OK Magazine)

Please, please Jesus/Allah/Buddha/God/Secret/Mother Nature let this be true!!!!

Because I feel like I know Mr. Eddie Izzard, I know that this would mean the world to him.

And if they got those same quirky writers and elements of the show, it would be really good!


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