Posts Tagged 'marriage'

Romantic Gestures

The other day I was at a Mexican restaurant (not the much frequented Santana’s Mexican Grill, but the much closer Chili Peppers) and noticed a man with an odd tattoo. It started at the end of his jawbone under his ear and moved diagonally to the middle of his cheek. it was a name,  Nicole, printed in pretty cursive. Then I noticed a girl standing next to him, since I assumed to be Nicole because in the same place on her face read “Marcus”.

You have to really  like a person to get their name tattooed on your face.

In fact, I’d argue that getting a face-tattoo of your lover’s name is a more serious commitment than marriage. It’s a celebrity cliché to have an overnight marriage/annulment (shoutout to my girl, B.Spears!). But a tattoo is hard enough to get rid of, and a tattoo on your face is basically impossible. Any kind of surgery will result in a scar in the shape of your former tattoo. A cover-up tattoo will have to be bigger and more intricate to really cover anything up. Can you imagine seeing a huge flower or dragon on someone’s face?

I wonder how he brought it up to her? Was it a surprise? Did he just come home one day with it? And since he had her name, did she think, “Oh shit, now I have to go get his name on my face.”?

This is how I imagine the conversation between Marcus and Nicole going:

Marcus has taken Nicole out for a fancy meal at the Outback Steakhouse. Candles are lit (that he brought himself and was asked by the waiter not to light but did anyways). He asked her not to order anything over twelve dollars.

Marcus: Nicole, these past three months have been so special to me.

Nicole: Me too, baby. Pass the A-1.

Marcus: I really like you. In fact, I think that I like you like you.

Nicole: Marcus, I like you like you, too!

Marcus. Good, because I brought you hear to ask you something.

Nicole: Marcus…you mean…?

Marcus: Oh! No, no! Nothing like that! Shit, I’m not ready for marriage!

Nicole: Thank Jesus! Me neither.What is it?

Marcus: I waas just wondering if you wanted to get each others name’s tattoed on our faces?

Nicole: Is that all? Okay, sure. We’ll go after dinner!

Anyways, I guess my point is that people are weird. And face-tattoos are gross.

But in the end, I wish Nicole and Marcus all the happiness in the world so that they never have to deal with the embarrassment of meeting a future date after their break-up and having to explain the name on their cheek.

Congratulations, Elaine and Josh!

Congratulations to Elaine and Josh. They love jazz music, New Orleans, and today is their wedding day!

I wish them many happy years together!

PS Can anyone break their password?

Yes on Prop 8?!

Now, I understand you love Jesus and everything, but Prop 8? What are you? From the stone age?

If live in California and you interact often with the LGBT community (or in my case, have a friend who is obsessed with the LGBT community) then you must have heard about Prop 8 before. Basically the Proposition wants to add to the California Constitution that “marriage is only between a man and a woman”.

I was really confused why anyone would ever vote yes on Prop 8. Who on earth would want to deny rights to fellow neighbors? Who on earth would ever deny two people the right to be a family?

But then I saw this ad. And suddenly I was enlightened:

I was enlightened; I realized– supporters of Prop 8 are just stupid cunts! Otherwise they wouldn’t believe this bullshit!

That’s right. I went there. I used the c-word.

Personally, I’m not familiar with the fairy tale “King & King” and I must have been absent the day of 2nd grade when they told me that princes could marry princes. I also must have been absent the day when the fact that princes could marry princes destroyed everybody’s psyches.

So then I started looking for more reasons to support Prop 8 and I was told that a marriage should be between a man and a woman because it was the way “nature” wanted it to be. Men and women are “meant to procreate” and thus a marriage where no procreation takes place is not valid.

Thanks for demeaning the human race as procreating creatures. Since when has marriage been solely a means for having children? What happened to marrying for love?

Really, I only care because Ellen DeGeneres is a lesbian and I’m really looking forward to a wedding invitation. I also just really hate people who would work so hard to deny other people’s happiness.

Let’s face it, if your kid doesn’t learn about homosexuality from school, who will they learn it from? Wouldn’t you prefer for your kid to learn about it in a safe environment?

Why do you want your kid to be a cunt like you?

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