Archive for November, 2009

What I Am Thankful For: In Pictures

I ate so much today that my brain can’t create functional sentences. So to celebrate Thanksgiving, I’ll just show you the things that I am most thankful for.

Britney Jeans Spears, and the love she represents.

My obese cat, Sadie.

Nomi Malone, "Showgirls", and the art of film.

Hedwig and The Bay Street Theater.

The Savannah College of Art and Design

This bitch. And my autographed Patricia Heaton poster!!



Papa Roach Plays Dirty

Okay, so this is getting to be an annual battle for Britney fans: the Fuse sponsored Video of the Year contest. Last year she won with her video for “Womanizer” against the disgusting devil-worshipers that are Slipknot.

This year she’s made it through her brackets easily with her music video for “Circus“. There was a bit of trouble with Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”, but she made it through in the end.

And now, we’re at the final stage. And she’s against Papa Roach.

This is one of these bands that I’ve always known existed, but I couldn’t name one of their songs. But they’ve taken it upon themselves to get really bitchy. Look what they wrote on their Twitter page:

And then because Britney fans are hardcore, they fought back. And then, Papa Roach went there:

Ask yourself: can you really stand for that? Do you really want people who call themselves “roaches” to win over the love and beauty that Britney Spears represents?

So be your brutal cunt self, and keep voting.

End of the Quarter Notes

Well, my first quarter here at SCAD is officially ending tomorrow.

I think that it went pretty well. My classes, to be honest, were pretty easy. But I think that this is mostly due to the teachers I got. Pretty much all the freshman had the same classes, and some people had fifteen hour drawing assignments on the weekend, or last minute 2D Design projects to work on…but I never really had any of that. Everything was pretty much in class and pretty easy. Not that I’m complaining. But even though there wasn’t a lot of work outside of class and stuff, I did learn a lot. Like comparing my first drawing project to my last one, you can actually see some legit improvement.

Outside of class, I’ve totally fallen in love with Savannah. I’m surprised by how much I like this kinda sleepy little town, but there’s something really charming about it. I like living in the historic district and that it’s a fifteen minute walk to “downtown”. (Hey, there is a Marc Jacobs here. That actually is kind of legit and exclusive.)

Socially, it’s okay. I mean, let’s be honest. I didn’t really have that many friends back in the Ranch, so I don’t know what I expected here. I’ve met a few people that I like and a few that I see sorta regularly, but I haven’t had any of the all-night adventures that Josh has had. But that’s okay. It takes time, right? Right?!?! And I know that I’ll find more people once I get into some film classes. Plus I’m lucky to have met some other Britney fans (including one pretty hardcore one).

All in all, I am happy here. Sometimes I wish that I had applied to SVA in New York, or that the College of Santa Fe hadn’t shut down before I applied…but I think I like it. I really took the fact that that production of Hedwig opened right after I got here as a sign that I’m supposed to be here. Sorry that that sounds so lame, but it’s true. You know how spiritual I am.

And now that the quarter is over, it’s time to go back home for seven weeks. Yup, seven. Thanksgiving and Hanukkah break are just rolled in to one, which is kind of nice because we don’t have to go back between them.

I’d like to conclude with two lists:

Five things I am most looking forward to about going home:

  1. Having gallons of milk at my disposal! I miss drinking milk at every meal.
  2. Not having to walk up four flights of stairs to get to my room.
  3. Having my kitties and doggies.
  4. Driving around in Josh’s 4Runner blasting Beyoncé, Blackout and “Chase the Morning”.
  5. Mexican food!

Five things I will miss about SCAD/Savannah:

  1. Being able to walk everywhere
  2. The homeless man who sits by the empty store on Broughton Street playing the recorder, as well as the old man who walks around in a suit carrying a sign about following God and fighting Satan.
  3. My posters, since they have to stay behind.
  4. The Bay Street Theatre’s December show.
  5. The millions of apples I steal from the cafeteria.


J+E<3 Reunion Tour (feat. Bestie ForFor)

Well, we’ve been separated for a bit over two months (okay, there was that weekend back in October) but now it’s time for our Reunion Tour to really begin!

In one week from today I’m flying up to New York from Savannah to stay with Josh at Columbia University for the weekend. And Forrest is coming down from Boston! Josh and I spent a little over three hours today laying out our itinerary, and we have a full weekend planned. We’re going to live it up like dem city boyz from New Yawk.

Here is our itinerary, aka, the best way to stalk us!

FRIDAY 11/20:

1:51 PM – Elaine arrives

5:45 PM – Forrest arrivs

8:00 PM – Pilgrimmage to the Jane Street Theater

12:00 AM – Rocky Horror


12:00 PM – Amy Ruth’s Chicken and Waffles

2:00 PM – “In the Other Room (or the vibrator play)”

7:00 PM – Langhorne Slim concert

12:00 AM – Comic Strip Live NYC

SUNDAY 11/22:

10:30 AM – MoMA

2:00 PM – Central Park/5th Ave exploration

5:00 PM – Bye Bye Bestie ForFor 😦

8:00 PM – “MANSON: The Musical”

MONDAY 11/23:

10:30 AM – Ivy League lecture!

3:00 PM – Elaine leaves for San Diego!


Yayy!! I’m so excited…I’m so excited…I’m so…scared!! Well, I’m not really scared, I’m just excited!

So let us know if there’s anything that we’re missing in NYC that we need to check out.

And if you’re a Bosher who lives in NYC…let us know and we’ll meet up with you somewhere*!

*Probably not, though.

Things that remind me that I’m in the South

Sometimes I’m just sitting in my dorm room or walking to class and I forget that I’m deep in the Georgian south. But there are always little things that are jump out and remind me because they are so different from San Diego.

  1. Confederate flag bumper stickers
  2. That all the cafeteria workers call me “baby”
  3. There are restaurants that have smoking sections (inside!)
  4. The sight of cockroaches (mostly squished, dead ones)
  5. Spanish moss hanging over the streets
  6. Humidity
  7. The un-ironic use of “y’all”
  8. Actual southern accents
  9. Periods of rain that last for more than ten minutes
  10. That biscuits and gravy and grits are always on the breakfast menu
  11. That people judge me when I say that it’s cold
  12. That you can get fired for being gay!
  13. That even my art school is fairly conservative
  14. That Southern Charm exists — people always smile at you on the street

As a bonus: Things That Remind Me That I’m in a Small Town

  1. There is only ONE Starbucks!
  2. The mall is far away
  3. I can walk downtown
  4. It is an exciting day when you go to Target
  5. Errbody knows your shit. (Well, I don’t know anybody’s shit and I don’t think anybody knows mine, but I’m just making an assumption here.)

AUSTRALIA: The Land Down Under HELL

About a year ago from today, Elaine and Josh hosted a fabulous “Showgirls” themed party that was complete with a living room stylized as a stripper bar and an adjacent room for special “private” dances. Coincidentally, many of our friends were hosting Australian exchange students through an exchange program run through our school, so we thought it would be fun for everyone if we invited our friends and their Aussies. However, the success of this party was hampered by none other than those of Australian birth.

Now, I’m not racist– I mean, we cordially invited them as guests to our party– but WTF is wrong is Australians these days? I mean they were wonderful in creating beautiful, popular people like Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe (and we all know even he has quite the temper), but what went wrong with the rest of this forsaken continent?

I turn your attention to this very disturbing article:


That’s right folks. Australians, blessed with the opportunity to see Britney Spears live, actually physically left the venue demanding for their money back?!! Not only is this sacrilege, it’s also just plain stupid– they didn’t get to see Brit flying through the air during “Breathe on Me”!

They did the same thing to us at our “Showgirls” party, and now they’ve done it again to Britney Spears. Why can’t Australians ever stay at events they promise to attend? It’s obvious that Australians don’t understand or appreciate the beauty of beings like Britney Spears and Nomi Malone.

It’s worth mentioning that the people who left were in the cheap nosebleed seats and were probably old heffers. But they were also Australian, and I think this says more than any of the other descriptions.

So Boshers, next time you encounter an Australian, be wary. They might literally be from Down Under the Earth in the realms of Hell.

P.S. HOWEVER, all the Aussie Brit fans who loved the Perth concert– you are pardoned, and I hope you to stay strong amongst your ignorant neighbors!

Britney Bless One and All,


The New Acronym that Will Rival “WTF” and “FML”

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to quickly write this post to document for humanity the birth of the acronym that will soon rock the internet, popular culture and facebook statuses. This acronym was created solely by me (Josh) and I just wanted to make a clear record of the date and time I invented this acronym so that I can say, “hey, you that one acronym? I invented it, and here’s proof, BITCH.” I really hope it takes off and becomes as widely used as LOL, OMG, and OMFG, but you know, that’s is all wishful thinking because it’d be hard to become as prolific as those idol acronyms.

The acronym is: HFS


Pronunciation in conversation: Simply “H. F. S.” or the cuter “Hiffs!”

Example usage:

  1. To preface a statement, indicating it’s emphatic nature. “HFS, why’d you eat all the chips Nomi!”
  2. To punctuate an already emphatic statement, escalating emphasis. “Britney Spears touched my hand!!! HFS!!!” (Note: in these cases, “HFS” is almost always pronounced “H. F. S.” with emphasis placed on each individual letter for dramatic effect.)

I’d also like to use this opportunity to preview another acronym for you guys– let me know what you think!

The acronym is: GTS

Short for: “Giggles to self”

Pronunciation in conversation: Almost always pronounced as a single word, “gits”.

Example usage:

  1. A diminutive form of “LOL”, used when something was pretty funny, but not really funny enough to make you laugh out loud. This is more honest and frank than “LOL” most of the time, while at the same time is still complimentary and not too mean. Example: “haha gts.” (Note: due to it’s unemphatic nature, “GTS” is rarely followed by exclamation points.)

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