Archive for November, 2009

What I Am Thankful For: In Pictures

I ate so much today that my brain can’t create functional sentences. So to celebrate Thanksgiving, I’ll just show you the things that I am most thankful for.

Britney Jeans Spears, and the love she represents.

My obese cat, Sadie.

Nomi Malone, "Showgirls", and the art of film.

Hedwig and The Bay Street Theater.

The Savannah College of Art and Design

This bitch. And my autographed Patricia Heaton poster!!



Papa Roach Plays Dirty

Okay, so this is getting to be an annual battle for Britney fans: the Fuse sponsored Video of the Year contest. Last year she won with her video for “Womanizer” against the disgusting devil-worshipers that are Slipknot.

This year she’s made it through her brackets easily with her music video for “Circus“. There was a bit of trouble with Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”, but she made it through in the end.

And now, we’re at the final stage. And she’s against Papa Roach.

This is one of these bands that I’ve always known existed, but I couldn’t name one of their songs. But they’ve taken it upon themselves to get really bitchy. Look what they wrote on their Twitter page:

And then because Britney fans are hardcore, they fought back. And then, Papa Roach went there:

Ask yourself: can you really stand for that? Do you really want people who call themselves “roaches” to win over the love and beauty that Britney Spears represents?

So be your brutal cunt self, and keep voting.

End of the Quarter Notes

Well, my first quarter here at SCAD is officially ending tomorrow.

I think that it went pretty well. My classes, to be honest, were pretty easy. But I think that this is mostly due to the teachers I got. Pretty much all the freshman had the same classes, and some people had fifteen hour drawing assignments on the weekend, or last minute 2D Design projects to work on…but I never really had any of that. Everything was pretty much in class and pretty easy. Not that I’m complaining. But even though there wasn’t a lot of work outside of class and stuff, I did learn a lot. Like comparing my first drawing project to my last one, you can actually see some legit improvement.

Outside of class, I’ve totally fallen in love with Savannah. I’m surprised by how much I like this kinda sleepy little town, but there’s something really charming about it. I like living in the historic district and that it’s a fifteen minute walk to “downtown”. (Hey, there is a Marc Jacobs here. That actually is kind of legit and exclusive.)

Socially, it’s okay. I mean, let’s be honest. I didn’t really have that many friends back in the Ranch, so I don’t know what I expected here. I’ve met a few people that I like and a few that I see sorta regularly, but I haven’t had any of the all-night adventures that Josh has had. But that’s okay. It takes time, right? Right?!?! And I know that I’ll find more people once I get into some film classes. Plus I’m lucky to have met some other Britney fans (including one pretty hardcore one).

All in all, I am happy here. Sometimes I wish that I had applied to SVA in New York, or that the College of Santa Fe hadn’t shut down before I applied…but I think I like it. I really took the fact that that production of Hedwig opened right after I got here as a sign that I’m supposed to be here. Sorry that that sounds so lame, but it’s true. You know how spiritual I am.

And now that the quarter is over, it’s time to go back home for seven weeks. Yup, seven. Thanksgiving and Hanukkah break are just rolled in to one, which is kind of nice because we don’t have to go back between them.

I’d like to conclude with two lists:

Five things I am most looking forward to about going home:

  1. Having gallons of milk at my disposal! I miss drinking milk at every meal.
  2. Not having to walk up four flights of stairs to get to my room.
  3. Having my kitties and doggies.
  4. Driving around in Josh’s 4Runner blasting Beyoncé, Blackout and “Chase the Morning”.
  5. Mexican food!

Five things I will miss about SCAD/Savannah:

  1. Being able to walk everywhere
  2. The homeless man who sits by the empty store on Broughton Street playing the recorder, as well as the old man who walks around in a suit carrying a sign about following God and fighting Satan.
  3. My posters, since they have to stay behind.
  4. The Bay Street Theatre’s December show.
  5. The millions of apples I steal from the cafeteria.


J+E<3 Reunion Tour (feat. Bestie ForFor)

Well, we’ve been separated for a bit over two months (okay, there was that weekend back in October) but now it’s time for our Reunion Tour to really begin!

In one week from today I’m flying up to New York from Savannah to stay with Josh at Columbia University for the weekend. And Forrest is coming down from Boston! Josh and I spent a little over three hours today laying out our itinerary, and we have a full weekend planned. We’re going to live it up like dem city boyz from New Yawk.

Here is our itinerary, aka, the best way to stalk us!

FRIDAY 11/20:

1:51 PM – Elaine arrives

5:45 PM – Forrest arrivs

8:00 PM – Pilgrimmage to the Jane Street Theater

12:00 AM – Rocky Horror


12:00 PM – Amy Ruth’s Chicken and Waffles

2:00 PM – “In the Other Room (or the vibrator play)”

7:00 PM – Langhorne Slim concert

12:00 AM – Comic Strip Live NYC

SUNDAY 11/22:

10:30 AM – MoMA

2:00 PM – Central Park/5th Ave exploration

5:00 PM – Bye Bye Bestie ForFor 😦

8:00 PM – “MANSON: The Musical”

MONDAY 11/23:

10:30 AM – Ivy League lecture!

3:00 PM – Elaine leaves for San Diego!


Yayy!! I’m so excited…I’m so excited…I’m so…scared!! Well, I’m not really scared, I’m just excited!

So let us know if there’s anything that we’re missing in NYC that we need to check out.

And if you’re a Bosher who lives in NYC…let us know and we’ll meet up with you somewhere*!

*Probably not, though.

Things that remind me that I’m in the South

Sometimes I’m just sitting in my dorm room or walking to class and I forget that I’m deep in the Georgian south. But there are always little things that are jump out and remind me because they are so different from San Diego.

  1. Confederate flag bumper stickers
  2. That all the cafeteria workers call me “baby”
  3. There are restaurants that have smoking sections (inside!)
  4. The sight of cockroaches (mostly squished, dead ones)
  5. Spanish moss hanging over the streets
  6. Humidity
  7. The un-ironic use of “y’all”
  8. Actual southern accents
  9. Periods of rain that last for more than ten minutes
  10. That biscuits and gravy and grits are always on the breakfast menu
  11. That people judge me when I say that it’s cold
  12. That you can get fired for being gay!
  13. That even my art school is fairly conservative
  14. That Southern Charm exists — people always smile at you on the street

As a bonus: Things That Remind Me That I’m in a Small Town

  1. There is only ONE Starbucks!
  2. The mall is far away
  3. I can walk downtown
  4. It is an exciting day when you go to Target
  5. Errbody knows your shit. (Well, I don’t know anybody’s shit and I don’t think anybody knows mine, but I’m just making an assumption here.)

AUSTRALIA: The Land Down Under HELL

About a year ago from today, Elaine and Josh hosted a fabulous “Showgirls” themed party that was complete with a living room stylized as a stripper bar and an adjacent room for special “private” dances. Coincidentally, many of our friends were hosting Australian exchange students through an exchange program run through our school, so we thought it would be fun for everyone if we invited our friends and their Aussies. However, the success of this party was hampered by none other than those of Australian birth.

Now, I’m not racist– I mean, we cordially invited them as guests to our party– but WTF is wrong is Australians these days? I mean they were wonderful in creating beautiful, popular people like Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe (and we all know even he has quite the temper), but what went wrong with the rest of this forsaken continent?

I turn your attention to this very disturbing article:


That’s right folks. Australians, blessed with the opportunity to see Britney Spears live, actually physically left the venue demanding for their money back?!! Not only is this sacrilege, it’s also just plain stupid– they didn’t get to see Brit flying through the air during “Breathe on Me”!

They did the same thing to us at our “Showgirls” party, and now they’ve done it again to Britney Spears. Why can’t Australians ever stay at events they promise to attend? It’s obvious that Australians don’t understand or appreciate the beauty of beings like Britney Spears and Nomi Malone.

It’s worth mentioning that the people who left were in the cheap nosebleed seats and were probably old heffers. But they were also Australian, and I think this says more than any of the other descriptions.

So Boshers, next time you encounter an Australian, be wary. They might literally be from Down Under the Earth in the realms of Hell.

P.S. HOWEVER, all the Aussie Brit fans who loved the Perth concert– you are pardoned, and I hope you to stay strong amongst your ignorant neighbors!

Britney Bless One and All,


The New Acronym that Will Rival “WTF” and “FML”

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to quickly write this post to document for humanity the birth of the acronym that will soon rock the internet, popular culture and facebook statuses. This acronym was created solely by me (Josh) and I just wanted to make a clear record of the date and time I invented this acronym so that I can say, “hey, you that one acronym? I invented it, and here’s proof, BITCH.” I really hope it takes off and becomes as widely used as LOL, OMG, and OMFG, but you know, that’s is all wishful thinking because it’d be hard to become as prolific as those idol acronyms.

The acronym is: HFS


Pronunciation in conversation: Simply “H. F. S.” or the cuter “Hiffs!”

Example usage:

  1. To preface a statement, indicating it’s emphatic nature. “HFS, why’d you eat all the chips Nomi!”
  2. To punctuate an already emphatic statement, escalating emphasis. “Britney Spears touched my hand!!! HFS!!!” (Note: in these cases, “HFS” is almost always pronounced “H. F. S.” with emphasis placed on each individual letter for dramatic effect.)

I’d also like to use this opportunity to preview another acronym for you guys– let me know what you think!

The acronym is: GTS

Short for: “Giggles to self”

Pronunciation in conversation: Almost always pronounced as a single word, “gits”.

Example usage:

  1. A diminutive form of “LOL”, used when something was pretty funny, but not really funny enough to make you laugh out loud. This is more honest and frank than “LOL” most of the time, while at the same time is still complimentary and not too mean. Example: “haha gts.” (Note: due to it’s unemphatic nature, “GTS” is rarely followed by exclamation points.)

Because a post is long overdue…

Hey Boshers,

Who knew college was so hard? But now that I’ve finally finished my last midterm of the week (I still have another midterm and two papers due next week and I also have an 9AM class tomorrow, but WTH, I feel like writing today!), I have time to come to Bosh and let you know about my life in Harlem.

I guess these first 8 weeks or so have been tough for me to blog because I’ve been feeling generally uninspired to do anything– uninspired to write, join clubs, get a job, eat decent meals, exercise, sing, draw, compose music, doodle, and at times even uninspired to do homework. But for some reason, this week I feel on top of everything (most likely because of my discovery of the beauty of Google Calendars) and I’ll be starting work soon hopefully and everything will be on track. In fact, today, I thought of two songs I wanted to do vocal arrangements for (in addition to Britney’s discography), recommenced work on the “Showgirls: The Opera” libretto, mulled a theme in my mind for a potential play, and I even finished all my homework according to my schedule.

I guess it could be described as beautiful.

Of course, I’m not going to finish any of those things, but the fact that I’m thinking about them again is promising. And better yet, I don’t have class tomorrow evening like I always do, so this is going to be a relaxing Thursday!

Since I’ve been gone for so long, I have no idea where I’m going with this post… there are so many things I want to talk about but they all require their own posts and I don’t think I have the stamina to write 20 posts in one night. So I’ll focus on what I did just two nights ago, Monday, a little more than 48 hours ago.

The day started off pretty bland. I sat in my room and did homework. I’m pretty sure I ate EasyMac for breakfast and Cup Noodle for lunch.

But that night, after doing extensive research, I decided to go down to the Village near NYU (I am really jealous of their area) for a haircut. All of the SuperCuts in the City had gotten bad reviews on Yelp and Citysearch and I found this local place called “Astor Place Barbershop”. Plus, I was planning on going down there for a book signing that Augusten Burroughs was doing at a nearby Barnes & Noble.

The barbershop was so ghetto that I walked right past it the first time. There wasn’t even a store front– there was just a sign on the side of a bank that said to go down these wide stairs for the barbershop. I walked down the stairs, and I saw on the door that they had a karaoke bar. That’s really strange for a barbershop. After opening the door, I was greeted by a huge basement barbershop that almost seemed to inhabit the entire underground of the city. I was directed somewhere to the left and straight into the chair of a woman named Suzy. I told her what I wanted and she was done within 10 minutes. However, I wasn’t specific enough and she gave me a slightly different hairstyle, but I’ve been subconsciously wanting to try something new, so maybe Suzy was just reading my subconscious. The whole shebang only cost me $15 and I tipped Suzy $5. It was fucking glorious.

After my cut, I met up with the friend I had come down to the Village with (she wanted to meet up with a high school friend) and the three of us walked the 6 blocks up to Union Square. Nothing really too impressive about the square itself except for all the people and the good shopping surrounding it. We walked into the Barnes & Noble, which was really unassuming from the front, but it turns out that it’s 4 stories and massive. When we got to the 4th level where Augusten was supposed to be reading and signing, it was already packed. There were perhaps 100 people seated in the front, and then another 100 that were forced to stand in the back. Not a bad audience huh Mr. Burroughs?

He read an excerpt of his new book “You Better Not Cry” and at the end even answered some questions. For you Burroughs fans (which is really just Elaine), he revealed that “Dry” has been optioned to become a TV series! I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. Someone also asked him what his next book was about, but he couldn’t tell us. He did confirm that it was already in the works and mostly finished. He even has another book in progress but he said that that one will most likely be shitty.

We had to wait in a long-ass line after the reading to get our books signed and we ended up waiting 3 hours. But it was worth it I guess since when I told him that my name wasn’t Elaine (they had written down our dedication names on post-its before going up to him to speed up the whole process) he sassily retorted, “I know!”. And then when I told him that Elaine was the person who introduced me to his work and that she’s read every single book of his several times (both are true), he said, “well that’s awesome, I really hope she enjoys it!”.

Well here is the photo that is the culmination of all these events:

Augusten and Josh

Augusten and Josh-- new besties.

Notice the haircut, the author, and the autograph book.

I’d say it was a night well spent.

Elaine’s Wonderful Day

Dear Readers,

Today I have had the most beautiful day. My heart is filled with joy and I can’t remember feeling this happy for awhile. I would like to share my day with you.

My day starts, I suppose at 12 AM, when I was leaving the VIP Reception I was volunteering at for the Savannah Film Festival. I had spent several hours guarding Claire Danes, Hugh Dancy and Patricia Clarkson in the VIP section. I got to personally fetch and hand a glass of white wine to Claire Danes!

After returning home, thanks to a ride from one of the festival directors, who was, obviously, fun to talk to, I cuddled into bed at 1 AM. I realized how thankful I was that I brought my stuffed polar bear, Dudley, to college.

My 8 AM class was moved to 9 AM, and even though I still had to wake up early, I felt happy and well rested. I woke up to a text from my neighbor asking if I wanted to walk with her and her roommate to class. She knocked on my door ten minutes later and gave me a half a bagel.

We walked together and chatted and laughed.

After class was over I hung out a a really cute cafe that I had been meaning to try, and had some coffee (my new fave thing) and a delicious spinach and feta croissant. I even got a SCAD discount!

Then I walked around the corner to the theater and and started my first shift of the day for the film festival. It turned out that we were just hanging out in the lobby during the show, so I got to talk to meet more cool people and we talked for a few hours. At the conclusion of my shift, I realized that the shift leader was the woman who directed Hedwig here in Savannah! I talked to her for a bit and that was really exciting.

I stopped at CVS on the way back, and it made me feel grown up to go grocery shopping.

As I was walking back to my dorm, I looked around and realized that I love Savannah.  The beautiful green squares, the hanging Spanish moss…I’ve even fallen in love with the stores and streets I see every day. I walked down my favorite street and checked on the progress of the tattoo shop that just opened there. I feel proud that they have finally opened and that the inside is decorated so nicely!

As I turn the corner, a man washing the windows of a hotel smiles at me and says, “You got pretty eyes”. I laugh and keep walking. He says, “Turn around and let me see those pretty eyes again”. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am flattered and pleased.

I walk back and see that I have e-mails from my best friends! I talk to my mom on the phone and write an e-mail to my dad.

Then I start my 2D Design project and realize how lucky I am that this is my homework. I am thankful that I go to art school.

After a few hours, and I change back into my film festival shirt for my second shift of the day. I immediately bond with two other girls who had also worked at movie theaters and we spend the five hours shift together. We got to see the second half of the film, Pedro Almodover’s Broken Embraces starring Penelope Cruz, and it was really good!

We walk back in a group and laugh the whole time. One of the girls and I went to grab a snack and realize that we didn’t even know each other’s names. So we trade those, as well as phone numbers and a promise to hang out sometime.

I walk back to my dorm, but on a whim stop at my mailbox and find a letter from Annie Le!

Then walking down my hall I talk to two different rooms with open doors.

Now I sit here, knowing that I have several hours ahead of me on my 2D Design project. This could very well be my first college all nighter. But I don’t mind. I am, on the contrary, excited. I have a large Peanut Butter Energizer smoothie by my side and Britney Spears’ complete discography on my iPod. I love college. I love SCAD. I love Savannah. I love life.

Hoping you are as happy as I am,

Elaine Rose Gray

Just an Observation

For the past three days, Josh and I have talked for at least two hours a day.

I think homesickness may be starting to kick in.


The good old days.

Elaine’s Tweets

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Josh’s Tweets

Contact Elaine and Josh!

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