Somehow it’s already December 24th and we haven’t even mentioned Jesus’ birthday! Blame it on Josh having finals until the day before yesterday and my new all-consuming obsession with Law and Order: SVU, I guess.
Anyways, here are some videos that are sure to get you into the Christmas Spirit!
Britney, for no apparent reason, yells “Merrrrrrrry Christmas!!” as she runs across the stage. This was in March.
David Bowie and Bing Crosby have their strange little Christmas duet.
Britney and Ellen go Christmas caroling! I frequently fantasize about the the two of them standing at my door singing. There is little in this world that would be better than that.
And, of course, the Christmas scene from Female Trouble where Dawn does not the get the only gift she wanted – black cha cha heels. Her reaction is perfectly acceptable for the situation. This will be what happens in my house if I don’t get my Britney Red Bling Travel Mug. “I hate you! Fuck you! Fuck you both! You awful people! You’re not my parents! I hate you, I hate this house, and I hate Christmas!!!”
So in conclusion, have a very Merry Christmas from all of us here at Bosh With Elaine and Josh.
Published December 25, 2008
Tags: birthday, Christmas, Jesus, Prius
This is going to be one of those blog posts that are really short because really the whole message is in the title.
Alas, happy birthday Jesus! Finally the big 2008!
I hope Mary got you that Honda Prius you’ve been wanting!
I’m going to try to make a cake for you, but if that doesn’t work out, I’ll bake you one when I get back from Mexico (and I’m sure Elaine will be glad to help).
(Readers: sorry if you’re on Christmas overload right now– four posts on Christmas is a lot!)
Hi Santa, I know it’s been a while since I’ve written to you, but now that I have this blog, I feel like it will finally reach you up there in the North Pole (you just really can’t trust USPS these days you know).
I also realize it’s kind of late to be writing to you, since you must already be finishing your rounds in Japan and Australia at the moment. But it’s the 21st Century, so surely you have a laptop with you on that sleigh? And I’m positive that you subscribe to our feed via Google Reader, like all loyal Bosh readers do, right?!
How is your health? Elaine must have caught something bad because she threw up yesterday (how embarrassing…) and I hope you didn’t catch the same thing. Are you and the missus still enjoying an invigorating sex life? If not, I can forward you one of those e-mails I always get, you just gotta ask.
You see Santa, this Christmas, I’m not even going to ask you for anything (especially since I’ve already received everything I ever could’ve wanted, i.e. The “Showgirls” VIP Box Edition, and BRITNEY SPEARS TICKETS). This Christmas is all going to be about you.
So Santa, to help you out a bit, here is a list of people you shouldn’t even BOTHER visiting tonight. Don’t even waste your precious time on these naughty people.
- Elaine (she’s Jewish)
- SHE (I don’t need to tell you the story again do I?)
- Nomi Malone
- Andrew Carver
- Adnan Ghalib
- Kanye West
- Kevin Jonas
- Joe Jonas
- Nick Jonas
- John McCain (but Sarah Palin can get a present because she’s just too folsky)
- Yes on Prop 8
- Mr. Blagojevich
- The girl who stole Elaine’s officer position in GSA
- Kevin A., the Santa Imposter (who gave me a lump of coal in SAVY Club)
- Miley Cyrus
- Tigger, my Chihuahua for his insatiable desire for my leg.
There you go Santa, I hope that little bit helps you a lot!
Expect some cookies at my house Santa, while you drop off my new car!
While most Christmas traditions are meant to take place with family and friends, there are some that I like to participate in by myself in my room. So why don’t you join me? Let’s take the “Christ” out of “Christmas”, and celebrate the holiday the way it should be celebrated!
- I rabidly watch this strange, awkward Christmas duet between David Bowie and Bing Crosby over and over. I don’t know what’s better, the little scene that they do before they sing, or the story behind the video: that Bing had never even heard of David and just wanted a young singer. Bing wanted to sing “Little Drummer Boy”, but David didn’t think that it suited his vocal talent, so someone quickly wrote “Peace on Earth”. They met that morning and rehearsed for an hour. Bing said that David was, “a clean cut kid”. Bing died a month later, and it aired after his death. Pure Christmas bliss.
- Then I like to preform a reading of John Waters’ classic essay “Why I Love Christmas” from his book Crackpot. I like to pretend that John is reading it to me and sharing all his obsessions with me. No matter how many times I’ve read it, it’s still hilarious. “Why I Love Christmas”
- I like to end Christmas with more John Waters, but this time with his touching and inspiring movie, Female Trouble. Nothing puts me more in the Christmas spirit than this! And if I’m too tired from all the holiday joy to watch the whole movie, then I just skip to the single greatest Christmas scene in cinema history: