Archive for July, 2009

It’s Been Awhile

I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting…but I’m here now…

Hi everyone (hi Forrest and Emily!). Sorry we dissapeared forever. We’ve been so busy with Bye Bye Britney.

Other than that, we went to Old Town and went on a Ghost Hunt! We dined at Hooters! We also went to Comic Con and got Patricia Heaton’s autograph!

We also saw REPO! The Genetic Opera at midnight and sat next to Alexa Vega! Well, we sat in the same row as her. And she even fell alseep half way through the movie! And we got to see her eat popcorn!

And now I need to get back to editing.

Sorry that this was the world’s lamest post. I just wanted to write something because it’s been years.

My First College Party!

College is so exciting!

Today I was browsing my “Furnald ’09/’10” Facebook group (you know, the one for all the Columbia freshmen and sophomores who are living in the nicest residence hall on campus– Furnald) and I found a mysterious link posted on the wall. Naturally, I clicked it, and lo and behold! My first college party!

The genius living in Room 420 is already planning a party for the first week-end of school! I’m sure the other residence halls have something like this planned but they call Furnald the “anti-social” dorm so it was really comforting to see the invite. Will I have friends afterall?

My only concern is that there are already 15 confirmed guests (I’m just a maybe, just in case I meet these people and don’t like them) and I’m pretty sure 420 is a single… so how are we going to fit a possible 20+ person party in a 120 sq ft. dorm (not to mention all the space the furnishings take)? I guess that’s all part of the experience.

I’ve also never done pot and since the event photo is a giant marijuana leaf, maybe I’ll get to try something new!

There’s a first time for everything right?

Except coke. I promised my nostrils I would never do coke.

Dorm Worries

I just found out today that at SCAD I’ll be living in a triple occupancy dorm. That means me and two other girls. Unfortunatley, I don’t get to find out my two new best friends until mid-August.

A lot of people didn’t want to get a triple, but my thinking is that no matter which roommate I’m with, we’ll always have something to talk about: the other girl*.

But how exactly can I decorate this dorm? I look around my room right now, and it’s a little…out there. Two walls are “grenedine red”, two are “royal purple” (from the Disney collection), and the celing is dark grey. David Bowie is above my bed (which has leopard print bedding) and Britney Spears is hanging next to Hedwig. Iggy Pop is situated under a bulletin board filled with weird things, which goes nicely with my door, which features a collage of magazine pages.

How can I ever live with another person? Let alone two??

And will I have enough room anywhere to hang up my Showgirls wall mural?

SHOWGRLS-00AA1

Jesus, why do I have to be so fucking weird? Will I have to give up my “Firetrucks in Action” calendar (which is also a “Burning Buildings” calendar, depending how you look at it)? Will I have ample bookself space for my signed John Landis biography or my Mick Rock photography books? What if they look at the picture of Josh and I with John Waters and ask, “Who’s that?”? What if my roomies don’t even like Britney Spears?!

But maybe I’m just getting ahead of myself. I mean, people at art school are obviously going to be creative and open-minded. Right? I mean, I’m sure that they’ll accept me on some level. And I’ll just be sure to be nice to them no matter what. Unless they try to hang up a fucking Twilight poster. Then I’m asking for a new room assignment**.

*And if my future roomies look up this blog and read this, I’m totally kidding!

**Again, just kidding, roomies!

Elaine and Josh’s Crazy Week

This past week has been so insane. Here are the highlighs:

  • Adapting Bye Bye Britney the stage musical into Bye Bye Britney the musical movie. Shooting begins Monday.
  • Going to the midnight premier of Harry Potter.
  • Sleepover #1 with Forrest where we watched Basic Instinct and Showgirls and played Mall Madness until six AM (the details get fuzzy on this one…)
  • Having a serious discussion with Paris Hilton’s sex tape going on the background.
  • Walking the dogs around midnight and creating plans for the Lighthart estate.
  • Sleepover #2 with Forrest, Nishita, Jo’Ann and a much-needed apperance by Daniel. I can’t divulge the details, but  it did involve not sleeping until six AM, watching The Man Who Fell to Earth (or at least the gun scene), and watching the menu for Female Trouble four about half an hour.
  • Going to San Diego’s Gay Pride Festival, where we saw Ongina from RuPaul’s Drag Race (!) and our old friends, Hedwiggin Midnight Radio.
  • And, naturally, a California burrito from SMG.

Things to look forward to next week include Comic-Con and REPO! The Genetic Opera at mightnight!

A Formal Apology

Dear Boshers,

I’d like to take this time to formally apologize for the previous post. Josh, or “Jeosh”, was delusional and did not know what he was typing. Please disregard everything he wrote, and know that none of it was factual.

The only true part was that we were lying on the floor watching Showgirls, the rest is a fabrication of Josh’s mind.

Thank you for your cooperation,

The Editors of Bosh With Elaine and Josh

A Drunk Post from Jeosh

Now I am lying on my floor watching Showgirls with Elaine. We did too many shots. Or at least I did. But Forrest is the one in his underwear. Haha he just exclaimed “they’re going to make you have sex NOMI!” That’s funny.

There’s so many boobs in this movie that you just stop noticing after a while.

I’m still surprised I can still type because I can’t really feel my fingers. Or any of my limbs right now. It feels trippy.

I love Britney Spears so much.

Good Morning!!!!!!!

Josh.

Netflix Really Gets Me

Netflix has always assumed that I’m a 30 year old gay man based on my rental history, and has always recommeneded me movies in that light. Fine with me, because for the most part I have the same interests as a 30 year old gay man. But now Netflix is getting to know me on a whole new level.

While they used to just have a “Movies You’ll Love” section that would say things like: “You’ll love Mommie Dearest because you loved Showgirls“, they’re going way deep into my psychology now. They look at common themes in all the movies I’ve rented (or can now FINALLY Instant Watch on my Mac!!) and show me movies that there’s now way I can’t love.

It’s almost frightening how deep of a character study this is, and I think I’m learning more about myself than I ever have before. Thanks, Netflix.

Here’s the screen caps of my Netflix homepage just so that you can understand how specific they’re able to make their recommendations to my interests:

Picture 1Picture 3

I love Goofy Independent Satires! No Goofy Studio Satires for me! And I didn’t even know that “Violent Gay & Lesbian” was a genre…but it sounds like something I would enjoy!

Happy One-Year Anniversary SMG!

According to Elaine (I forgot what her proof was), the first time we stepped into a Santana’s Mexican Grill and discovered the wonders of monogamy (in terms of your relationship with you and your Mexican restaurant of choice) was July 7th, 2008. Fancy that! That was a year ago!

In this past year, we have gone through so much in SMG. We’ve written several shows in SMG, talked about writing a show about SMG, met and subsequently lost the love of our lives, Maria, and launched a successful guerilla warfare campaign against Chili Peppers. Hell, we’ve even been assaulted by a homeless man in SMG (of course at the Mira Mesa location).

SMG was always there for us (probably because it’s open 24/7 bitch!), even at 4 in the morning after grad night and 11 at night after a great Hedwig performance.

Pretty soon, Elaine and I will be moving to the East Coast and we’ll have to leave SMG behind. But SMG will be with us everyday for it has shaped our lives for the better.

Thank you SMG. We love you.

Yours,

Josh and Elaine

Things that Annoy Me at the Moment

  1. That Wake 1 is won’t turn off on my alarm clock and that every day around 11 it starts to beep loudly. I can’t turn the actual alarm setting off. Wake 2 is fine. But Wake 1 is just being a little bitch. What I need to do is unplug the actual alarm clock to make it go away, but it’s too much work to have to move the bed to get to the outlet and then have to reset the clock.
  2. That the Internet magically shuts off at 2 AM every day. That’s when I need the Internet most!
  3. That all the bananas in this house, while deceivingly unbruised on the outside, are squishy and gross on the inside.
  4. That there’s a giant glitter explosion in the carpet of my room because I didn’t take the proper glitter precautions before I used it.
  5. That I get really excited when I see a notification on Facebook, only to find that someone who I barely know has challenged me to a quiz to identify the Disney characters.
  6. That the bunnies that live in the backyard have become fearless – they don’t even flinch anymore when they hear the door open. Where’d they get this sense of entitlement?
  7. That Jay Brannan’s new album is just covers with barely any original stuff. (But I’ll buy it anyways).
  8. That the credit card that pays for my Netflix account has expired so I have to enter new information.
  9. That my brand new MacBook has decided not to connect to the Internet under any circumstances.
  10. Britney’s New Candie’s ad…was all the photoshopping really necessary? And WTF is up with all the horses?
  11. That I didn’t get off the Emerson waitlist. Whateva.
  12. That the B logo on my Britney dog tag has somehow been rubbed off.
  13. That Josh’s new dog sheds even more than either of my dogs and that I now I have white fur everywhere.
  14. That our new hectic schedule leaves no time for my new found hobby of heat yoga.

Umm…I think that’s it right now. Sorry for my auora of negativity.

I’m really sorry for this post.

So I apologize in advance for writing this because here on Bosh we have an unwritten law that says we’ll never talk about anything serious (outside of the realm of Britney Spears’ vagina) and I’m warning you, I’m about to drop a really serious word. But don’t worry, I promise you there’s something frivolous awaiting. Here’s the serious word:

ABORTION.

Oh God. I said it.

For some reason, I was on the “STOP ABORTION” cause message boards on Facebook when I found a really interesting topic called “Exceptions to Abortion”. Of course the die hard Pro-Lifers were really ragging on this poor woman who was conflicted and didn’t really know if she was Pro-Life or Pro-Choice because she believed in both. So I read through a couple of them and of course I read some really ridiculous posts, but this one was so ridiculous that no one even acknowledged her in any of the future posts. For context, this post was in response to the poor woman proposing that there be an exception for young girls, those as young as the age of 12, who are physically and emotionally incapable of raising children. So here it is, word-for-word, with some commentary by me at the end.

Parents give there children the tools they need to handle any situation. Is it ideal? no. but could she handle it? yes. Look at old times. they taught there boys to hunt when they were little, girls to help raise there siblings when they were little. Go to a foreign country and you will see really young girls raising there siblings because their parents have died. I was in Rwanda and saw a little girl of about seven with a baby on her back. Children have an amazing ability to learn and adapt. There are kids all over the place doing it everyday. I think we give our kids a huge disservice by telling them that they can’t do something. We are raising lazy children in this country. I tell my kids they can do anything if they work hard for it. When I got pregnant my family banded together and gave me love and support and answered questions if I had any. It sucks that some parents rather than helping her daughter raise a child they would tell her to abort. How sad. Why not love our kids unconditionally and as a family help each other out! We as a nation have become soooo selfish.

Holy shit. Do I even need to say anything? I guess I’ll respond with some questions:

  • What are old time? Are you talking prehistoric?
  • Why wasn’t I taught how to hunt when I was little?
  • Am I lazy because I don’t want to raise a child at the moment?
  • Do I really need to travel to a foreign country to see girls with dead parents?
  • Maybe that little Rwandan girl was just taking the baby for a walk?
  • How could a little Rwandan girl breastfeed a baby?
  • Telling a kid they can’t do something isn’t a disservice, it’s fact?
  • Okay, that last one’s not actually a question?
  • Am I sooooooooooo selfish?
  • Are all the “o”‘s necessary?

This person totally reminds me of my new favorite MTV show, “16 and Pregnant”. I can’t explain why I like it so much. It doesn’t even make me laugh (that much). Most of it’s actually really tragic.

I think it’s because we all secretly want to know what it would’ve been like to get pregnant at 16, it’s just that none of us were stupid enough to try it when we were 16, except for some notable exceptions, who are now the stars of this genius show.

If only those girls were more like this one! (Skip to 2:26 for the good part!)

Okay, enough about abortion! Let’s talk about Britney Spears’ vagina!

–Josh

J+E<3 Presents…The 2009 "S" Word Summer Season!

J+E<3 Corporations is excited about the launch of their new Production company, and to celebrate, they will be producing three musicals  over the 2009 Summer Season right here in Scripps Ranch!

HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH July 25, 26

Scintillating

She’s back…and she’s still angry! This “sublimely trashy” yet unexpectedly inspiring rock odyssey returns from J+E<3’s production in May. We’ve got a new band, new costumes, and a new attitude, so even if you saw the last show, you’ll want to come again.

The show takes place at one of glam-rocker Hedwig’s concerts, and between songs backed by her band The Angry Inch, she tells the story of her life through stand-up comedy and monologue. Born Hansel in East Germany the year the Berlin wall was erected, he eventually meets an American G.I. who promises to take him over the wall and into the U.S. But that will require a marriage certificate, and therefore, a  full, physical examination. Hansel (now Hedwig) agrees to the sex-change operation, which is tragically botched, leaving her with just and “angry inch”. The G.I. soon abandons Hedwig alone in a trailer park in Kansas, where she soon meets and falls in love with a seventeen year old, pock-marked, four-eyed, Dungeons and Dragons obsessed, Jesus freak with a fish on his truck. He becomes her rock-n-roll protégé, who steals her songs and becomes successful on his own. Hedwig deals with the themes of isolation, love, identity and acceptance with humor and loud rock n’ roll. (Contains naughty words, blowjob jokes and “mature themes”.)

BYE BYE BRITNEY July 31, August 1,2

Scandalous

A (sort of) original musical written by Josh and Elaine. Based on the musical Bye Bye Birdie, and inspired by the life of the legendary Miss Britney Spears and featuring her music.

Internationally loved pop-icon Lucky is finally being forced to go to rehab. Her manager and boyfriend, K-Fed, is distressed, seeing how he is only using Lucky to get enough money for him and his other girlfriend, Shar, to move to the Bahanas. But Shar comes up with one last money-making scheme before Lucky goes: to promote her new single, “If U Seek Amy”, Lucky will debut her song and “If U Seek A-” one fortunate fan on live television! Papi Malone of conservative Scripps Ranch is selected, but all the phones are tied up as the whole town is engaged in “Phonography”! Once Papi learns of the good news, and Lucky arrives in town, Scripps Ranch is set abuzz…but her new boyfriend, Danja, is jealous. What’s a girl to do?? Bye Bye Britney is a satire of modern values, Scripps Ranch, and fame. All set to some of the greatest pop songs of all time! (Contains naughty words, sexual innuendo, and “mature themes”.)

LAST NIGHT WITH ELAINE AND JOSH August 28

Sassy

Josh and Elaine’s second “original” musical in which they look back on their time together and say goodbye to each other, and to their friends.

The eve before they depart to their separate colleges, best friends Josh and Elaine sit down together at their favorite restaurant, Santana’s Mexican Grill, to reminisce about high school and ponder what the future will bring. Re-written songs come from Josh and Elaine’s favorite musicals and artists including: Hedwig and the Angry Inch, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, REPO! The Genetic Opera, CATS, Elton John, Britney Spears and more. A must see for anyone who’s ever been friends with Josh and Elaine, and to everyone who is facing the unknown adventure of going to college next year all malone. (Contains naughty words).

More information, such as cast lists, location, times and promo photos and more about each production will now be appearing in the “Summer Musical” tab at the top of this blog. Keep checking there for more info!!

Moral Dilemma

Britney’s next single is “Radar”, and therefore they’ve made a music video for it.

They (aka the assholes over at Jive) haven’t given us a release date for the video, but tonight, someone leaked it onto YouTube.

And I don’t know what to do.

Should I watch it and enjoy the four minutes of Britney’s sexy self dancing and lip synching her heart out…or should I wait for the actual release?

Because you know, what if it’s not done yet? What if this isn’t how Britney wants me to see it? What if this isn’t how all the crew of the video wants me to see it?

Shit, this is hard. I never felt bad about watching pirated episodes of The L Word, but for actual quality entertainment that is guarteened by anything related to Britney, shouldn’t I respect the creators and the artists enough to wait until the offical release? Because as a person who is going into a media related field, wouldn’t I want my future consumers to have the same respect for my projects?

But what if Britney’s wearing something sexy? What if she has some really hot dance moves??

Oh, this open YouTube window is just taunting me. I can hear the beginning of “Radar” right now in my head. But…alas…I think I will wait. At least for now.

UPDATE:

Okay, so I just watched the video. And I’m glad that I did, because Britney looked fine! Unfortunatley, though, there was no dancing at all! But that’s okay. It was still a good video. Although, to be honest, I always pictured “Radar” more like at a nightclub…not at a horse race.


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Josh’s Tweets

Contact Elaine and Josh!

Want to say something to us? Don't feel like you can post a comment? No problem! You can get in contact with us here.

Elaine and Josh:

jepartyservice@gmail.com

Elaine:

elgray21@student.scad.edu

Josh:

jl3456@columbia.edu