Archive for January, 2009

What Elaine and Josh will be doing on Saturday.

I’m sure you’re curious how we’ll be spending our weekend, so I’ll be more than happy to tell you.

The Lifetime TV network is having a special marathon this weekend titled “Love Gone Wrong” where they’re showing only the best quality movies where, well, love goes wrong.

None other than our favorite actress in the whole world, Elizabeth Berkley (no offense, Jessica Harper!), will be staring in a movie called Dark Beauty. Here is the riveting plot description:

Starring Elizabeth Berkley
A businessman thinks he’s hit the jackpot when he meets the woman of his dreams. But when he learns that her previous spouses died under mysterious circumstances, he begins to wonder if she’s actually his worst nightmare.

Sounds like a true masterpiece. It starts at 1 PM Pacific Time. Support Elizabeth and watch it!

XOXO,

Elaine

PS On Lifetime’s website, they have a wonderful gallery called “Elizabeth Berkley: Through the Years”. They’re all beautiful photos of Elizabeth moving through the different stages of her career, but this one is my favorite:

berkleygal-550x400-2006-1

What do you think they talked about?? Do you think that Elizabeth gave Meryl any acting tips?

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If U Seek Amy

All Britney Spears fans are eagerly awaiting the release of her third single from her newest album, Circus. But “If U Seek Amy” is causing quite a stir. Here’s a very articulate FOX news debate about the song:

The video won’t embed, but it’s worth watching!!

LOL at how they bleeped the song!!

I think that this is just so ridiculous. I mean, yeah. She definitely spells out and intends to say F-U-C-K ME. Duh. But really, the seven year old who hears that isn’t going to get it. I didn’t even get it for a while!

And plus, Brit’s song seems positively tame compared to Ray J’s radio hit “Sexy Can I”.

Sexy Can I lyrics

(feat. Yung Berg)

Sexy can I
Yeah, Yeahhh
All we wanna know is….

[Chorus:]
Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.
Girl how you shake it, got a nigga like (ohhhh)
It’s a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera
All I wanna know is, sexy can I.

Sexy can I, hit it from the front,
then I hit it from the back.
know you like it like that.
then we take it to the bed, then we take it to the floor
then we chill for a second, then we shake that ass some more
Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.
Girl how you shake it, got a nigga like (ohhhh)
It’s a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera
All I wanna know is, sexy can I.

[Yung Berg:]
Lil mama, it’s ya boy Youngin
G5 dippin, lui vuitton luggage (ay)
Gotta love it, ya boy so fly
All the ladies go (ohhh) when a nigga go by.
Gucci on the feet, Marc Jacob on the thigh
She wanna ride or die with ya boy in the shi.
That’s right, so I let her kiss the prince
so boyfriend, she ain’t missed him since.

[Ray J:]
Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.
Girl how you shake it, got a nigga like (ohhhh)
It’s a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera
All I wanna know is, sexy can I.
Sexy can I, keep it on the low.
Got a girl at the crib, we can take it to the mo-mo.
You can bring a friend, or you can ride solo.
Let me get my camera, so we can take a photo.
(Oh,ohh,ohh) Now go shawty, go shawty.
Baby when we make love it’s like, (Oh,ohh,ohh)
(I don’t know what your man is like but shawty all I want to know is…)
sexy can I.

Sexy can I, visit you at work

When you sliding down the pole,
no panties, no shirt.
Then you climb back up the pole,
then you drop and do the splits.
How you make that pussy talk,
Baby damn, you is da shit
(Oh,ohh,ohh) Now look shawty, look shawty.
I make it rain in the club like (Oh,ohh,ohh)
(I don’t know what your man is like but baby all I want to know is…)
Sexy can I

Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.
Girl how you shake it, got a nigga like (ohhhh)
It’s a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera
All I wanna know is, sexy can I.

[Yung Berg:]
I don’t care who’s ya boy hittin, or who Ray’s melon
When I give it to her, i know that she ain’t tellin’
See i’m a go getta and she a go getta
You already know she…
(Sexy can I)
Sexy can I sing for you red-eye
Fresh out the pool no towel
let it air dry.
And if you ain’t f**kin’ tonight
Man you can watch that tour bus go by

[Chorus:]
Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.
Girl how you shake it, got a nigga like (oh baby)
It’s a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera
All I wanna know is, sexy can I.
Sexy can I, hit it from the front,
then I hit it from the back.
know you like it like that.
then we take it to the bed, then we take it to the floor
then we chill for a second, then were back at it for more
Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.
Girl how you shake it, got a nigga like (ohhhh)
It’s a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera
All I wanna know is, sexy can I.

I mean…really? Compare spelling out a naughty word (that all kids know and use anyways) to the graphic lyrics in that song. Let me tell you, I endured many an awkward moment when “Sexy Can I” came on the radio and I was on the way to school with my mom and sister.

So just lay off Britney and maybe focus on things that are actually obscene and offensive.

Besides, you can’t blame her for speaking the truth! All the boys and all the girls are begging to F-U-C-K her!

A New Year Begins!

Sorry I (and by I, I mean me, Josh) haven’t posted anything in a while– between Showgirls themed parties, co-producing musicals, and reading Lynne Spears’ touching autobiography “Through the Storm”, a guy can get pretty busy.

Except, I’m going to be honest and tell you that I just lied. I actually have not yet touched “Through the Storm”, nor do I know if it is touching, even though it is beckoning me to touch it as we read this post.

I need to be honest because you see, today is the New Year!

“WTF, AGAIN?!” you exclaim!

Whoa, whoa, whoa… calm down you silly caucasian! It’s Chinese New Year!

Although this Chinese New Year is void of money-stuffed red envelopes due to the economic recession and (insert asian “stingy” stereotype here), some traditions must always be observed!

For example, I was not allowed to open any of the blinds after the sun went down. For all I know, the sun might actually still be up. Perhaps this is all part of my mom’s plot to make me go to bed early– you know, an “ostriches fall asleep when you put a paper bag over their head” sort of scheme. As a matter of fact, I don’t ever remember keeping all the blinds closed last year or the year before that…

And in theory, I was also supposed to wear new clothes today, but I instead wore the same jeans, polo, and jacket combination that I wear about every 23 days. But that’s only because of the economic recession and (asian stereotype)…

And where were all the parties with the loud Chinese people socializing in every nook and cranny? Or the Chinese students giving gifts to their teachers (I only saw one!)?! Is it the economic recession’s fault again?

WHY DOES ECONOMIC RECESSION HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING? Not once did I see a dragon dance in the street. Did Dragon work for GM? Was Dragon layed off too?

Someone also told me that in Vietnamese culture, what you do on the first day of the year is what you’ll do for the rest of the year. Does that mean I’m going to go to Scripps Ranch High School for the rest of the year? I’m going to mooch off of other people’s carne asada fries for the rest of the year? Am I going to be late returning my library books for the REST OF THE YEAR?

Can I at least change the clothes I wore today?

Shit.

This Chinese New Year sucks.

It doesn’t even feel like New Year. Did the moon orbit incorrectly this year or something? I’d check, but I can’t even see out the friggin’ windows!

At least the food was good today. Between the carne asada and the steak I ate today, I must’ve eaten 3 pounds of cow in less than 12 hours.

So, on this New Year’s Day, be grateful Bosh readers. Be grateful that you are not a cow.

新年快了!

林順發 (Josh)

P.S. I also forgot to mention that I can’t lie because I gave a couple admissions officers the URL to this blog… it’s Annu’s fault.

1,003 Views!

Just here to celebrate our 1,003 views on our YouTube video “I Am…Britney Spears Fan”.

Why not leave a funny comment like “this video is sex on toast” or “i want to be you<3 hahahhaahahha love it "?

What should our next video be?

Movie Review: “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”

I thought that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was long, cliche, pretentious, annoying, stupid, boring, as mainstream as possible, unnecessary, unoriginal, long, and just overall a piece of shit.

Where to begin?

I guess the first thing to say is that this movie has obviously been very well reviewed by critics and movie-goers alike. I guess it’s also fair to be said that have a fairly unique taste in movies and that my mind has been warped by John Waters, Todd Soldnz, David Lynch, etc. But still. I can usually understand why I movie that I personally don’t like is considered a masterpiece (see: Breakfast at Tiffany’s) but this movie was just utter garbage.

I’m sure everybody’s familiar with the story? Baby Brad Pitt is born and old man and then ages backwards.

SPOILERS AHEAD. Also this will probably make more sense if you’ve seen the movie.

First of all, there is no reason for a film to be two and a half hours. Ever. I will stand by this. Even my beloved Showgirls, which stands at two hours and eleven minutes, could have benefitted from some cutting.

Secondly, I hate, hate, hate movies that have the parallel plot thing where it cuts from one story to another story but they actually intersect. There are times when this is passable or in rare situations, necessary, but this was so heavy handed and so overworked and just plan retared that it made me angry. It goes from mom/daughter in a hospital room. (Momma’s dying. Shame.) And then cuts back and forth to Benjamin Button’s story, which was, of course, BEING READ OUT OF A FUCKING DIARY BY THE DAUGHER BECAUSE THE MOM WAS BENJAMIN BUTTON’S EX LOVER. I hate that shit! It’s not clever! It’s been done! You’re not being new, avant-garde or remotely interesting! Just tell the goddamn story! Jesus. Everytime it cut to the hospital room I just wanted to leave. Sure, it’s cute in a children’s movie like The Princess Bride when it’s just there to add a little humor, but this was just annoying as hell. An adult movie doesn’t need any stupid gimmicks like that.

Moving on.

Ever heard of the film Forrest Gump? The screenwriter, Eric Roth, wrote this, too. Sure, I had a love afair with Forrest Gump. When I was fourteen. When I realized how just plain bad it is I moved on. It’s a sweet little movie to watch now and again. But not deserving of any serious praise. Well, Eric Roth (probably in need of a pay check) was smart enough to rework his beloved script, repackage it and sell it again. There are so many similaries to Forrest that I won’t get into it. But if there was a drinking game where you had to take a shot after every situation, character, setting, or piece of dialogue that resemebled Forrest Gump, you would die in the theater.

I hate sentimental, morale filled movies. I keep reading, “It just really makes you think about things differently.” Umm…like what? Not to take anything for granted? To live life to the fullest? To try new things while you still can? To be yourself? THAT’S THE MORALE OF EVERY FUCKING MOVIE EVER MADE! That’s even the morale to Showgirls! And by the way, David Fincher, I don’t need a shitty narration at the end of the movie to tell me the morale. That was cute in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, but here it’s just embarrassing.

Now, there are some aspects that were good. Cate Blanchett. The makeup design. But I’ll stop there. Because all the parts that actually make up the movie (writing, directing…) were awful. And sorry,  Brad Pitt, you’re nice to look at but you don’t deserve a Best Actor nomination.

The fact that it got 13 Oscar nominations (including Best Picture?!) just blows my mind and makes me weep for the film industry.

Of course, they did let Crash win.

Love and peace,

Elaine

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Well, after talking about it since the summer before sophomore year, we’re finally putting together our production of the musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch. If you’ve come to our blog from Craigslist, welcome! We look forward to auditioning and casting actors and musicians.

And we’ll also be looking for other help, so if you happen to go to SRHS and are good with lighting, sound, music or general behind-the-scenes theatre work, please join our team!

All the information about the production can be found under the “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” page, so keep checking there for updates.

How Ricky Gervais is slowly killing me.

I never get sick. Except now I’ve been sick twice in two months. The only connection? Both days I’ve gotten sick are also the days that the new Ricky Gervais podcast is released.

Ricky, I don’t understand. I’ve done nothing but support you. I’ve bought every podcast, saw Ghost Town and even had to buy HBO to watch “Out of England”. (Okay, that’s a lie. We got HBO over the summer when we got a new TV, but still).

Ricky, even though I’ve highly enjoyed “Ricky Gervais’ Guide To…Medicine” and “…Natural History”, if you have similar sinister plans in store for me for the release of “…The Arts”, I just won’t be buying it.

Respectfully,

Elaine

PS Just kidding!! I would much rather listen to you, Steve and the shaven chimp while throwing up than not at all.

PPS Next time you talk to Karl tell him thanks for all the medical tips! It’s true about ashtrays: the coldness gets away the badness!


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Contact Elaine and Josh!

Want to say something to us? Don't feel like you can post a comment? No problem! You can get in contact with us here.

Elaine and Josh:

jepartyservice@gmail.com

Elaine:

elgray21@student.scad.edu

Josh:

jl3456@columbia.edu