Posts Tagged 'Yale'

ILU too Columbia!

So today was the day that I found out about most of my schools, and what a day it was!

I got rejected from Harvard, Yale, and Stanford and waitlisted at Princeton, but nay, not everything was so bleak!

I got into Columbia, and today they let me know that they really love me. And you know what, I love you too Columbia! I really do. And I’m not afraid to tell the whole world.

So it may be time for us to take the next step in our relationship.

That’s right readers– we may be moving in with eachother. Of course she’s just asking me to pay $400 first and then I’m waiting to see how much she’s willing to give me $$ wise and then we’ll be all set.

And one of Elaine and I’s favorite mottos is “Brit’s got a plan (get naked)”. So everything that happens, happens for a reason. And in the case of being rejected to Harvard, Yale, and Stanford, I am almost 100% sure that it was because of Britney Spears.

And to state another favorite motto of ours, “there are only two types of schools out there– ones that can hang with Brit and ones that are scared”.

Obviously, Harvard, Yale and Stanford are scared shitless (it’s no coincidence that their intitials can spell S-H-Y). Princeton’s scared, but really wants to hang out (that’s P for “pussy”), and Brown and Columbia just ain’t afraid to hit the floor with Brit (which is B for “Bitch” and C for “CHRISTMAS!!!” [see youtube video below]).

Given that Harvard and Yale are the more conservative (eeew!) Ivies, I have concluded that they do not appreciate Britney Spears and therefore do not support a healthy academic environment.

But both Berkeley and Columbia selected me for some sort of scholar program, so I know that I must belong at either of these places.

Once again, thank you Britney Spears. You never fail to lead me down the right path. And this time you have found me true, reciprocated love.

Yours truly,


P.S. You all have no idea how serious I actually am.



Hello Bosh readers!

Today marked a semi-important day in the lives of Josh and Elaine. Today, Early Action decisions came out. Elaine eagerly awaited a letter from Emerson College, and Josh jetted home to see Yale’s decision.

So I’m going to cut all the bullshit and the suspense, but we were both…. drumroll please…. Deferred!

Here are our separate reactions to this disappointing news:

JOSH– Oh. That doesn’t suck. Hmmm… I guess I have to apply to all the other schools now won’t I? Oh well. Oh hey! Look they have stats… I guess I didn’t do that bad. “This year Yale admitted 13.4% of the Early Action pool, deferred 47.6%, and denied 38.3%,” says Admissions Office. At least this letter has proper English grammar. And at least Elaine got deferred too. I wonder why they didn’t like me… was it because of Britney? That might freak people out. Or maybe it’s because they could read my mind and knew Yale wasn’t my first choice and that I was just taking advantage of their non-binding Early Action program? They are smart cookies those Yale folk. Now I’m going to call Elaine and reassure her that she’s not a nub…

ELAINE–WTF IS DEFERRAL??!?!?! WHY THE HELL DID I WORK MY ASS OFF TO GET EVERYTHING DONE BY THE EARLY ACTION DEADLINE ONLY TO GET DEFERRED???? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! I HAVE TO CALL JOSH!!!!!! Oh. Josh said that it means that they don’t want to accept all the Early Action people so that there are no spaces left for the Regulars. But still. I’m pissed and dissappointed. And embarrassed that I actually spent a few moments meditating on getting accepted. I was just really anxious for an answer and didn’t even realize that “deferral” was an option. So I feel kind of frustrated. But oh well. I only have to wait four and a half months to find out the read decision for my top choice. At least I finished the application. And at least I wasn’t flat out rejected. It still sucks.

Elaine’s Tweets

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Josh’s Tweets

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