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The Bosh French Literature Series– Part 1

Welcome readers to the Bosh French Literature Series!

Here, each week (or less), you will be introduced to  a stunning work of French Literature written by none other than me! These pieces are the products of a French stylistic course I’m taking now and it should produce some beautiful works of art.

For the first part in the series, here is a poem entitled, “Britney, mon amour” (“Britney, my love”).

(French in italics, followed by an English translation.)

“Britney, mon amour”

Les méchantes tresses du soleil,
Qui durement me tirent du sommeil,
Ne me donnent pas autant de joie
Que tes voluptueux rayons de soie.

Et la lune qui monte au ciel chaque nuit,
Est si ordinaire qu’elle m’ennuie.
Mais ta bouche et tes lèvres croissantes
Brille d’une lumière vive, toute-puissante.

Et les montagnes, quels sommets laids !
Qui aux plaines plates volent la paix !
Mais tes cimes dorment en harmonie calme,
Comme des vagues douces qui bercent les palmes.

Mais à quoi servent ces anciens troncs d’arbre,
Qui ne soutiennent que des branches sombres ?
Ton cou élégant porte tout ce que j’adore :
Ton cerveau, tes yeux, tes cheveux d’or.

Tous les toscans tournesols qui poussent
Faneront lorsque l’hiver les touche,
Mais tes yeux resteront en couleur,
Tes cils les protègent de la froideur.

Et les écureuils ont des joues charmantes,
Selon toutes les folles ignorantes.
Elles n’ont jamais vu tes joues rosées,
Rondes, comme des collines de blé.

Quand le grand vent fait frissonner mon sang,
Comme un soldat des cieux blessants,
Tes bras puissants me protègent d’heurts—
Ils sont mes héros, et mes vainqueurs.

Même dans la nature tu chasses le pire,
Puisque, mon amour, t’es Britney Spears.

(English translation:)

“Britney, my love”

The menacing braids of the sun,
Who harshly pull me from sleep,
Do not give me as much joy
As your voluptuous rays of silk.

And the moon that mounts the sky each night
Is so ordinary that it bores me
But your mouth and your crescent lips
Shine a vibrant light, all powerful.

As for mountains, what ugly summits!
Who from the flat plains steal peace!
But your peaks sleep in calm harmony,
Like the soft waves who rock the palm trees.

But for what purpose serve this ancient tree trunks
Who only support somber branches?
Your elegant neck carries all that I adore:
Your brain, your eyes, your golden hair.

All of the Tuscan sunflowers that grow
Will wither once winter touches them,
But your eyes will remain colorful,
Your lashes protect them from the cold.

And squirrels have charming cheeks
According to ignorant fools;
They have never seen your rosen cheeks,
Round, like rolling hills of wheat.

When the great vale freezes my blood,
Like a solder of the injuring skies,
Your powerful arms guard me from blows–
They are my heroes, and my victors.

Even in nature you chase away the worst,
Because, my love, you are Britney Spears.

__________________END POEM____________________

I’m not one to brag, but I mean c’mon– you might as well hand me the Nobel Prize for Literature right now.

And wait until you see what I have in store for next week.

And yes, as embarrassing as that poem is, I did hand that into my French professor.

Papa Roach Plays Dirty

Okay, so this is getting to be an annual battle for Britney fans: the Fuse sponsored Video of the Year contest. Last year she won with her video for “Womanizer” against the disgusting devil-worshipers that are Slipknot.

This year she’s made it through her brackets easily with her music video for “Circus“. There was a bit of trouble with Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”, but she made it through in the end.

And now, we’re at the final stage. And she’s against Papa Roach.

This is one of these bands that I’ve always known existed, but I couldn’t name one of their songs. But they’ve taken it upon themselves to get really bitchy. Look what they wrote on their Twitter page:

And then because Britney fans are hardcore, they fought back. And then, Papa Roach went there:

Ask yourself: can you really stand for that? Do you really want people who call themselves “roaches” to win over the love and beauty that Britney Spears represents?

So be your brutal cunt self, and keep voting.

http://fuse.tv/ontv/shows/best-of-2009/

Sad Bosh in New York

Hello everyone,

I really haven’t blogged on Bosh in forever, but it’s only because college is “FUCKING CRAZY” (to quote Nishita).

I’ve been here for 4 weeks now and I really am happy here, but I wouldn’t give the emphatic “I’m loving it!” that everyone seems to be giving.

The first week was exciting, and now that, that excitement’s worn off and I’m sinking into the rote routine of classes, meal plans, and doing laundry, the novelty’s almost worn off.

At least I’m not entirely alone. Everyone on my floor is cool and I like being able to do homework until 2AM in the lounge with other people. Of course they do nothing to help me concentrate, but just the fact that we’re all sitting there working gives me a nice sense of community.

But alas, no Britney fans. And I’m still afraid to blast Britney in my room because people will judge me. But that hasn’t stopped me from proudly displaying my VIP Edition of Showgirls.

Since I last posted I auditioned for 4 a capella groups and mock trial. And I didn’t make anything.

Being here really does make me feel small. There’s so many talented people and I feel like I don’t belong. Fortunately for me, other people have said the same thing, so I’m not alone.

I guess that’s all I have to say for now. Never fear, I’ll be posting funnier things in the future– there are a lot of funny things in New York after all!

Josh

It’s Been Awhile

I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting…but I’m here now…

Hi everyone (hi Forrest and Emily!). Sorry we dissapeared forever. We’ve been so busy with Bye Bye Britney.

Other than that, we went to Old Town and went on a Ghost Hunt! We dined at Hooters! We also went to Comic Con and got Patricia Heaton’s autograph!

We also saw REPO! The Genetic Opera at midnight and sat next to Alexa Vega! Well, we sat in the same row as her. And she even fell alseep half way through the movie! And we got to see her eat popcorn!

And now I need to get back to editing.

Sorry that this was the world’s lamest post. I just wanted to write something because it’s been years.

Elaine and Josh’s Crazy Week

This past week has been so insane. Here are the highlighs:

  • Adapting Bye Bye Britney the stage musical into Bye Bye Britney the musical movie. Shooting begins Monday.
  • Going to the midnight premier of Harry Potter.
  • Sleepover #1 with Forrest where we watched Basic Instinct and Showgirls and played Mall Madness until six AM (the details get fuzzy on this one…)
  • Having a serious discussion with Paris Hilton’s sex tape going on the background.
  • Walking the dogs around midnight and creating plans for the Lighthart estate.
  • Sleepover #2 with Forrest, Nishita, Jo’Ann and a much-needed apperance by Daniel. I can’t divulge the details, but  it did involve not sleeping until six AM, watching The Man Who Fell to Earth (or at least the gun scene), and watching the menu for Female Trouble four about half an hour.
  • Going to San Diego’s Gay Pride Festival, where we saw Ongina from RuPaul’s Drag Race (!) and our old friends, Hedwiggin Midnight Radio.
  • And, naturally, a California burrito from SMG.

Things to look forward to next week include Comic-Con and REPO! The Genetic Opera at mightnight!

Happy One-Year Anniversary SMG!

According to Elaine (I forgot what her proof was), the first time we stepped into a Santana’s Mexican Grill and discovered the wonders of monogamy (in terms of your relationship with you and your Mexican restaurant of choice) was July 7th, 2008. Fancy that! That was a year ago!

In this past year, we have gone through so much in SMG. We’ve written several shows in SMG, talked about writing a show about SMG, met and subsequently lost the love of our lives, Maria, and launched a successful guerilla warfare campaign against Chili Peppers. Hell, we’ve even been assaulted by a homeless man in SMG (of course at the Mira Mesa location).

SMG was always there for us (probably because it’s open 24/7 bitch!), even at 4 in the morning after grad night and 11 at night after a great Hedwig performance.

Pretty soon, Elaine and I will be moving to the East Coast and we’ll have to leave SMG behind. But SMG will be with us everyday for it has shaped our lives for the better.

Thank you SMG. We love you.

Yours,

Josh and Elaine

COMING SOON TO THIS POST!

Forrest Lighthart’s account of a near death-situation that he put Josh, him, and myself in.

Story coming soon. (Well, as soon as Forrest writes it and emails it to one of us).

We’re asking Forrest to write this post himself instead of just writing it ourselves because only he could explain what was going on in his mind when he made this dangerous desicion.

Thank Britney Spears that we made it out alive.

Elaine and Josh… Moving on Up!

Here is a compilation of all of the fame we are getting because of our Britney shirts and posters– they really love us!

AMP 97.1FM: The infamous video in which Elaine and Josh are the stars, even receiving a singing solo near 1:06.

KIIS FM: If you clicked on that link, go all the way to photo 92 of 153 to see Elaine and Josh in all their glory!!! They were featured in this KIIS FM photo album.

(Or if you’re sick of clicking 92 times, simply just look at that exact picture below.)

But don’t worry loyal Bosher’s, we promise not to forget you as we climb the ladder to fame.

Peace Motherfuckers,

Josh

Countdown to Britney: 13 DAYS

As you all know, Elaine and Josh are going to see Britney on April 19th and such an event takes preparation! In this daily blog, we’ll tell you what Elaine and Josh did to prepare for the big day!

Elaine prepared by… posting Britney’s new Candie’s ad on her wall!! And choosing a new Brit pic for her desktop– http://candies.com/

Josh prepared by… creating his Circus Tour set list playlist.

A Very Special Blog Entry

Dear Boshers,

I am coming out of blogging hibernation to make a very special entry of Bosh with Elaine and Josh.

In today’s entry, we are going to talk about the dangers of kids and cars.

Please watch this chilling PSA courtesy of http://www.KidsAndCars.org.

Okay, so I understand that this is a very real danger for kids… but doesn’t that make you LOL??

I mean, if the carrots represent fingers, then which appendage does the cucumber represent? And why would a child stick that out a window?

I mean really… FRUITS AND VEGETABLES? Just the orange would’ve been effective, but then it was carrots, and then a cucumber and then a tomato, AND a lemon??

But I will admit that, that girl about to slice herself with the window had the scariest expression… by having no expression at all.

This is probably a sign that I’m going to be a BAD parent.

So please readers, for the sake of our children. Stay away from power windows, poison and fans.

Thanks,

Josh

1,003 Views!

Just here to celebrate our 1,003 views on our YouTube video “I Am…Britney Spears Fan”.

Why not leave a funny comment like “this video is sex on toast” or “i want to be you<3 hahahhaahahha love it "?

What should our next video be?

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Well, after talking about it since the summer before sophomore year, we’re finally putting together our production of the musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch. If you’ve come to our blog from Craigslist, welcome! We look forward to auditioning and casting actors and musicians.

And we’ll also be looking for other help, so if you happen to go to SRHS and are good with lighting, sound, music or general behind-the-scenes theatre work, please join our team!

All the information about the production can be found under the “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” page, so keep checking there for updates.

Bosh Resolutions ’09

So I realize this is coming really late– resolutions are usually a New Year’s thing and it’s already mid-January, but don’t worry, not procrastinating is on my list this year!

Josh:

  1. Get a six pack.
  2. Join an a cappella group in college.
  3. Keep this blog alive.
  4. Learn two of the following: Italian, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, German, or Arabic.
  5. Get into (several) night clubs.
  6. Get a job, but not at the Princeton Review because training was the worst 30 hours of my life.
  7. Organize my room.
  8. Get more sleep.
  9. Corrupt more young minds.
  10. Leave the US.

Elaine:

  1. Ween myself away from my cat in order to cope without her in a dorm
  2. Be nicer to my sister
  3. Put on a musical
  4. Graduate
  5. Go to college
  6. Interact with Britney Spears
  7. Become more physically active
  8. Become more assertive
  9. Make some other friends
  10. Clean on a regular basis
  11. Become famous

Okay, JK, procrastinating isn’t on my list.


Elaine’s Tweets

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Josh’s Tweets

Contact Elaine and Josh!

Want to say something to us? Don't feel like you can post a comment? No problem! You can get in contact with us here.

Elaine and Josh:

jepartyservice@gmail.com

Elaine:

elgray21@student.scad.edu

Josh:

jl3456@columbia.edu