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The Bosh French Literature Series– Part 1

Welcome readers to the Bosh French Literature Series!

Here, each week (or less), you will be introduced to  a stunning work of French Literature written by none other than me! These pieces are the products of a French stylistic course I’m taking now and it should produce some beautiful works of art.

For the first part in the series, here is a poem entitled, “Britney, mon amour” (“Britney, my love”).

(French in italics, followed by an English translation.)

“Britney, mon amour”

Les méchantes tresses du soleil,
Qui durement me tirent du sommeil,
Ne me donnent pas autant de joie
Que tes voluptueux rayons de soie.

Et la lune qui monte au ciel chaque nuit,
Est si ordinaire qu’elle m’ennuie.
Mais ta bouche et tes lèvres croissantes
Brille d’une lumière vive, toute-puissante.

Et les montagnes, quels sommets laids !
Qui aux plaines plates volent la paix !
Mais tes cimes dorment en harmonie calme,
Comme des vagues douces qui bercent les palmes.

Mais à quoi servent ces anciens troncs d’arbre,
Qui ne soutiennent que des branches sombres ?
Ton cou élégant porte tout ce que j’adore :
Ton cerveau, tes yeux, tes cheveux d’or.

Tous les toscans tournesols qui poussent
Faneront lorsque l’hiver les touche,
Mais tes yeux resteront en couleur,
Tes cils les protègent de la froideur.

Et les écureuils ont des joues charmantes,
Selon toutes les folles ignorantes.
Elles n’ont jamais vu tes joues rosées,
Rondes, comme des collines de blé.

Quand le grand vent fait frissonner mon sang,
Comme un soldat des cieux blessants,
Tes bras puissants me protègent d’heurts—
Ils sont mes héros, et mes vainqueurs.

Même dans la nature tu chasses le pire,
Puisque, mon amour, t’es Britney Spears.

(English translation:)

“Britney, my love”

The menacing braids of the sun,
Who harshly pull me from sleep,
Do not give me as much joy
As your voluptuous rays of silk.

And the moon that mounts the sky each night
Is so ordinary that it bores me
But your mouth and your crescent lips
Shine a vibrant light, all powerful.

As for mountains, what ugly summits!
Who from the flat plains steal peace!
But your peaks sleep in calm harmony,
Like the soft waves who rock the palm trees.

But for what purpose serve this ancient tree trunks
Who only support somber branches?
Your elegant neck carries all that I adore:
Your brain, your eyes, your golden hair.

All of the Tuscan sunflowers that grow
Will wither once winter touches them,
But your eyes will remain colorful,
Your lashes protect them from the cold.

And squirrels have charming cheeks
According to ignorant fools;
They have never seen your rosen cheeks,
Round, like rolling hills of wheat.

When the great vale freezes my blood,
Like a solder of the injuring skies,
Your powerful arms guard me from blows–
They are my heroes, and my victors.

Even in nature you chase away the worst,
Because, my love, you are Britney Spears.

__________________END POEM____________________

I’m not one to brag, but I mean c’mon– you might as well hand me the Nobel Prize for Literature right now.

And wait until you see what I have in store for next week.

And yes, as embarrassing as that poem is, I did hand that into my French professor.

Papa Roach Plays Dirty

Okay, so this is getting to be an annual battle for Britney fans: the Fuse sponsored Video of the Year contest. Last year she won with her video for “Womanizer” against the disgusting devil-worshipers that are Slipknot.

This year she’s made it through her brackets easily with her music video for “Circus“. There was a bit of trouble with Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”, but she made it through in the end.

And now, we’re at the final stage. And she’s against Papa Roach.

This is one of these bands that I’ve always known existed, but I couldn’t name one of their songs. But they’ve taken it upon themselves to get really bitchy. Look what they wrote on their Twitter page:

And then because Britney fans are hardcore, they fought back. And then, Papa Roach went there:

Ask yourself: can you really stand for that? Do you really want people who call themselves “roaches” to win over the love and beauty that Britney Spears represents?

So be your brutal cunt self, and keep voting.

Sad Bosh in New York

Hello everyone,

I really haven’t blogged on Bosh in forever, but it’s only because college is “FUCKING CRAZY” (to quote Nishita).

I’ve been here for 4 weeks now and I really am happy here, but I wouldn’t give the emphatic “I’m loving it!” that everyone seems to be giving.

The first week was exciting, and now that, that excitement’s worn off and I’m sinking into the rote routine of classes, meal plans, and doing laundry, the novelty’s almost worn off.

At least I’m not entirely alone. Everyone on my floor is cool and I like being able to do homework until 2AM in the lounge with other people. Of course they do nothing to help me concentrate, but just the fact that we’re all sitting there working gives me a nice sense of community.

But alas, no Britney fans. And I’m still afraid to blast Britney in my room because people will judge me. But that hasn’t stopped me from proudly displaying my VIP Edition of Showgirls.

Since I last posted I auditioned for 4 a capella groups and mock trial. And I didn’t make anything.

Being here really does make me feel small. There’s so many talented people and I feel like I don’t belong. Fortunately for me, other people have said the same thing, so I’m not alone.

I guess that’s all I have to say for now. Never fear, I’ll be posting funnier things in the future– there are a lot of funny things in New York after all!


It’s Been Awhile

I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting…but I’m here now…

Hi everyone (hi Forrest and Emily!). Sorry we dissapeared forever. We’ve been so busy with Bye Bye Britney.

Other than that, we went to Old Town and went on a Ghost Hunt! We dined at Hooters! We also went to Comic Con and got Patricia Heaton’s autograph!

We also saw REPO! The Genetic Opera at midnight and sat next to Alexa Vega! Well, we sat in the same row as her. And she even fell alseep half way through the movie! And we got to see her eat popcorn!

And now I need to get back to editing.

Sorry that this was the world’s lamest post. I just wanted to write something because it’s been years.

Elaine and Josh’s Crazy Week

This past week has been so insane. Here are the highlighs:

  • Adapting Bye Bye Britney the stage musical into Bye Bye Britney the musical movie. Shooting begins Monday.
  • Going to the midnight premier of Harry Potter.
  • Sleepover #1 with Forrest where we watched Basic Instinct and Showgirls and played Mall Madness until six AM (the details get fuzzy on this one…)
  • Having a serious discussion with Paris Hilton’s sex tape going on the background.
  • Walking the dogs around midnight and creating plans for the Lighthart estate.
  • Sleepover #2 with Forrest, Nishita, Jo’Ann and a much-needed apperance by Daniel. I can’t divulge the details, but  it did involve not sleeping until six AM, watching The Man Who Fell to Earth (or at least the gun scene), and watching the menu for Female Trouble four about half an hour.
  • Going to San Diego’s Gay Pride Festival, where we saw Ongina from RuPaul’s Drag Race (!) and our old friends, Hedwiggin Midnight Radio.
  • And, naturally, a California burrito from SMG.

Things to look forward to next week include Comic-Con and REPO! The Genetic Opera at mightnight!

Elaine’s Tweets

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Josh’s Tweets

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