Sorry I (and by I, I mean me, Josh) haven’t posted anything in a while– between Showgirls themed parties, co-producing musicals, and reading Lynne Spears’ touching autobiography “Through the Storm”, a guy can get pretty busy.
Except, I’m going to be honest and tell you that I just lied. I actually have not yet touched “Through the Storm”, nor do I know if it is touching, even though it is beckoning me to touch it as we read this post.
I need to be honest because you see, today is the New Year!
“WTF, AGAIN?!” you exclaim!
Whoa, whoa, whoa… calm down you silly caucasian! It’s Chinese New Year!
Although this Chinese New Year is void of money-stuffed red envelopes due to the economic recession and (insert asian “stingy” stereotype here), some traditions must always be observed!
For example, I was not allowed to open any of the blinds after the sun went down. For all I know, the sun might actually still be up. Perhaps this is all part of my mom’s plot to make me go to bed early– you know, an “ostriches fall asleep when you put a paper bag over their head” sort of scheme. As a matter of fact, I don’t ever remember keeping all the blinds closed last year or the year before that…
And in theory, I was also supposed to wear new clothes today, but I instead wore the same jeans, polo, and jacket combination that I wear about every 23 days. But that’s only because of the economic recession and (asian stereotype)…
And where were all the parties with the loud Chinese people socializing in every nook and cranny? Or the Chinese students giving gifts to their teachers (I only saw one!)?! Is it the economic recession’s fault again?
WHY DOES ECONOMIC RECESSION HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING? Not once did I see a dragon dance in the street. Did Dragon work for GM? Was Dragon layed off too?
Someone also told me that in Vietnamese culture, what you do on the first day of the year is what you’ll do for the rest of the year. Does that mean I’m going to go to Scripps Ranch High School for the rest of the year? I’m going to mooch off of other people’s carne asada fries for the rest of the year? Am I going to be late returning my library books for the REST OF THE YEAR?
Can I at least change the clothes I wore today?
This Chinese New Year sucks.
It doesn’t even feel like New Year. Did the moon orbit incorrectly this year or something? I’d check, but I can’t even see out the friggin’ windows!
At least the food was good today. Between the carne asada and the steak I ate today, I must’ve eaten 3 pounds of cow in less than 12 hours.
So, on this New Year’s Day, be grateful Bosh readers. Be grateful that you are not a cow.
P.S. I also forgot to mention that I can’t lie because I gave a couple admissions officers the URL to this blog… it’s Annu’s fault.