Posts Tagged 'heterosexuals'

Romantic Gestures

The other day I was at a Mexican restaurant (not the much frequented Santana’s Mexican Grill, but the much closer Chili Peppers) and noticed a man with an odd tattoo. It started at the end of his jawbone under his ear and moved diagonally to the middle of his cheek. it was a name,  Nicole, printed in pretty cursive. Then I noticed a girl standing next to him, since I assumed to be Nicole because in the same place on her face read “Marcus”.

You have to really  like a person to get their name tattooed on your face.

In fact, I’d argue that getting a face-tattoo of your lover’s name is a more serious commitment than marriage. It’s a celebrity cliché to have an overnight marriage/annulment (shoutout to my girl, B.Spears!). But a tattoo is hard enough to get rid of, and a tattoo on your face is basically impossible. Any kind of surgery will result in a scar in the shape of your former tattoo. A cover-up tattoo will have to be bigger and more intricate to really cover anything up. Can you imagine seeing a huge flower or dragon on someone’s face?

I wonder how he brought it up to her? Was it a surprise? Did he just come home one day with it? And since he had her name, did she think, “Oh shit, now I have to go get his name on my face.”?

This is how I imagine the conversation between Marcus and Nicole going:

Marcus has taken Nicole out for a fancy meal at the Outback Steakhouse. Candles are lit (that he brought himself and was asked by the waiter not to light but did anyways). He asked her not to order anything over twelve dollars.

Marcus: Nicole, these past three months have been so special to me.

Nicole: Me too, baby. Pass the A-1.

Marcus: I really like you. In fact, I think that I like you like you.

Nicole: Marcus, I like you like you, too!

Marcus. Good, because I brought you hear to ask you something.

Nicole: Marcus…you mean…?

Marcus: Oh! No, no! Nothing like that! Shit, I’m not ready for marriage!

Nicole: Thank Jesus! Me neither.What is it?

Marcus: I waas just wondering if you wanted to get each others name’s tattoed on our faces?

Nicole: Is that all? Okay, sure. We’ll go after dinner!

Anyways, I guess my point is that people are weird. And face-tattoos are gross.

But in the end, I wish Nicole and Marcus all the happiness in the world so that they never have to deal with the embarrassment of meeting a future date after their break-up and having to explain the name on their cheek.

Congratulations, Elaine and Josh!

Congratulations to Elaine and Josh. They love jazz music, New Orleans, and today is their wedding day!

I wish them many happy years together!

PS Can anyone break their password?

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