I knew when I was sitting in sixth period English that today was the day. I was going to come home and find my decision letter from my first choice, Emerson College in my mail box. And I did. And those of you with an IQ higher than Forrest Gump’s have probably guessed the result by now.
My relationship with Emerson has not been an easy one. Back in September I first found the school and it was love at first web-browse. I applied for Early Action and was deferred. But I sucked it up, listened to everyone reassure me and settled in for the nice, long wait.
You know, it’s funny. When friends, relatives, past applicants, strangers on the Internet and teachers tell you that you should get in somewhere, you start to believe them. I mean, I knew from the start that it was a bit of reach, my stats were just a smidge – a smidge – lower. And I really expected my witty essay and passionate answers would get me in. I guess not, though. The admissions staff really must have laughed when they saw that I even applied for the Honors Program.
And I know, I know, I know. “At least you weren’t rejected!” STFU! I would almost rather be rejected. I would rather have this saga come to a close than have to wait until June 30 for a definite response. I just can’t handle it. I want to know now. I really loved Emerson. The more I read, the more I felt like it was the best possible place for little Elaine Gray, burgeoning woman and filmmaker. But, oh well. What can I do? I tried, and sometimes you just fail. I guess that’s the lesson here. And don’t worry, I will put my name on that damn wait list. I won’t lose anything (besides for a little emotional/mental stability come the end of June). I just feel like I need to totally disregard it as an option now and focus on my remaining choices.
Which, don’t get me wrong, are fantastic choices and I’d be lucky to go to either one. It’s just hard to let something go that you’ve been hoping for such a long time. (Well, seven months. But that’s kind of a long time when you’ve only got seventeen years under your belt).
But like our Lord and Savior, Britney Spears, says:
I got a plan, we can do it
just when you want it, baby, baby, baby.
As long as you want it
we can do it, baby, baby, baby.
I guess that Emerson College isn’t Brit’s plan for me. It will just take a little bit for me to be okay with that and move on. And then get my heart re-broken/filled with love and joy on June 30th.
Best wishes and better luck,