Posts Tagged 'Lesbians'

Yet Another “L Word” Post

Sorry, what can I say? This show season is a trainwreck and I love talking about it.

This is also the final season, and the last episode EVER will be on this Sunday! There are so many loose ends to tie up that I’m really not sure how they’ll do it in a one-hour finale. We have to find out…

  • What will happen to Max and his baby
  • If Tasha will leave Alice for Jamie
  • If Mama B and Mama T will get their second baby and move to New York
  • If Weezie the carpenter is really straight
  • If Shane breaks up with Jenny and gets with Niki
  • If Dana will reappear as a ghost again
  • If Carmen will save the day
  • How The Farm will be set up
  • If Helena and Dylan will live happily ever after
  • If Kit gets with Sunset Boulevard, baby girl!
  • And most importantly…who killed Jenny!

I’m really excited, but am simultaneously doubting The L Word writer’s abilities to tie up everything. But I predict that all the girls, Max, and every minor character from Cherry Jaffey to TiBette’s first sperm donor’s psycho girlfriend (LOL! Remember that?) push Jenny into the pool in a combined group effort.

fnvfp5

There they are at some finale party (missing, of course, Leisha Haily and Jennifer Beals). Rose Rollins looks really good! She (and Daniela Sea) are the only ones that are any different from their character…Mia Kirshner looks so much like Jenny. Even down to the damn red tights.

EDIT:

I guess I really do talk/think/write about The L Word too much, because those mind-readers at Facebook keep showing me all these L Word related ads. Usually they’re just to watch the show…but I really want this shirt!

Gays and cursing– the “suck” controversy

Just a warning, this post is not going to be as serious as the title makes it sound.

Now, I’m one of those people who refuses to say “that’s gay” when something is REALLY terrible. It’s technically not politically correct since not all gays are REALLY terrible (notable exception: Rosie O’Donnell).

But today, I realized that I can’t use some of my favorite phrases because of the same reason:

  • “That sucks ass”
  • “That sucks serious ass”
  • “That sucks balls”
  • “That sucks serious balls”

I’ve never actually used the phrase “that sucks serious balls” before, but I just included it to keep with the pattern.

But the problem is, is that each and every one of those connotes some gay sexual activity. I guess they could be straight sexual activities too, but shouldn’t I stay away from sexual activity in general? And making gender neutral ones are out of the question– “that sucks serious genitalia” doesn’t quite cut it.

So here are my alternatives, inspired by another favorite of mine, “that’s retarded” (also kind of politically incorrect, but I think the existence of Helen Keller jokes makes it okay):

  • “That sucks retards”
  • “That sucks serious retards”
  • “That retards ass”
  • “That retards serious ass”
  • “That retards balls”
  • “That seriously retards serious balls”

I mean just say that last one out loud! Isn’t it fun?!

Despite these nice alternatives, I’m still going to use “that sucks serious ass,” because it’s just really too fun to say (again, try it out loud and see for yourself).

And remember, practice these phrases responsibly when minors are present!

I’m Out Homiez,

Josh

EDIT:

This is Elaine and I just wanted to inform Josh and rest of the world about the existence of the film Riding The Bus With My Sister, which puts together two things Josh mentioned in this post: Rosie O’Donell and retards.

“You’re WERID!”

And if your so inspired by these clips that you must see the whole movie, well, it’s your lucky day! Some caring soul put the whole thing up on YouTube!

An Ode to Max Sweeney

Ah, Max Sweeney. The poor, abused and most hated member of The L Word (at least by Ilene Chaiken). He’s had to put up with so much: dating Jenny at her most fragile, disturbing facial hair, and now pregnant and alone.

Wait…pregnant? Ilene, silly, boys can’t get pregnant! Girls who become boys but didn’t have  surgery and stopped taking their testosterone explicitly in order to get pregnant can (Thomas Beatie), but girls who are in the surgical process of becoming boys (Max Sweeney) who are still very much on testosterone have very, very little chance in getting pregnant. Didn’t you even bother to research that? Because the fans did. But I guess that that’s what happens when you develop your scripts only around the headlines, Ilene!

And now WTF is up with Tom leaving Max?? See, Ilene, this is your problem. You seriously, seriously lack any form of character development. One minute Max was very happy with his cute girlfriend Grace, then he’s gay and dating Tom, then he and Tom are  in love…and you seemed to miss all the in-betweens (but this really isn’t news for The L Word, which often features complete, 180º changes in character, see: Helena, Jodi).

And also, Max wasn’t showing at all when he heard he was pregnant so he couldn’t have been much past four months. He was turned down from the abortion clinic, but my  Google research showed that you can usually get an abortion anytime before 24 weeks…so I think he would have been good. And besides, I’m pretty sure that they would have considered this an “extreme situation” and could have made some exceptions.

And now Tom is gone and Max is pregnant and alone. I wonder how he’s doing? Maybe we’ll see in episode 5…oh…I guess not. I guess that not one mention will be made of him the episode after Tom left. Sure, that makes sense.

I just had a brilliant idea! Max, you don’t want this baby, right? Well, I can think of two people who are currently in the baby market…

I can almost guarantee that this thought will cross one their three minds in the last three episodes of this season (and this show). And if it does, Ilene, then I’ll just have to stop watching (which is a lie because I said right here that I’d stop watching if Shane and Jenny got together and clearly I haven’t).

In conclustion, dear Max, you only have three more episodes to get through. And you probably won’t be prominently featured in any of them anyways.


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