Posts Tagged 'josh'

10 Things About Josh

Today has been an emotional day. I’ve been bursting into tears left and right. I spilled some Wild Cherry Pepsi on my laptop and I was nervously waiting for my Apple store appointment, fearing that my new laptop would be dead. Oh, and Josh left for college today.

But I thought that since Josh will soon be making new friends at Columbia, that I would make a list of things that these new people should know. It took me five years to realize all these things, so I’m doing all these new poeple a favor by just writing them out here.

  1. If you want to ask Josh a question, you need to call him directly. He does this thing where he reads your texts, acknowledges it in his head, and then puts his phone back in his pocket. Occasionally he’ll text back, but if you really need to get an response quickly, just call.
  2. If he says that he’ll be somewhere at 11, he’ll be there at 11:30 at the earliest.
  3. If you ever need to use his cell phone or laptop, it’s all in French. This is just something that you will have to accept.
  4. When Josh gets really excited about something, he puts his hands in his pockets and runs around in circles. Don’t be alarmed. It doesn’t happen too often, but it can be frightening the first time you see it.
  5. He procrastinates a lot. He’s (obviously) really smart, but that’s just the way he works.
  6. Josh will pretty much do anything you ask him if you ask him enough. This is something that he will later feel bad about, as he feels like he says yes too much. This is probably true.
  7. Going off the last point, Josh will join too many clubs and take on too many responsibilities. Be a good friend and try to persuade him to restrict himself from all these things. I want Josh to stay sane throughout college.
  8. Josh doesn’t sleep very much. And if there’s no food around, he won’t eat very much either.
  9. Josh is a slow reader. He’s sort of slow at everything. Of course, this is because he’ll remember it all better later, but just at the time he’s doing it, it seems like it takes forever.
  10. Sometimes Josh just gets overwhelmed by everything and needs a little breaky breaky. It’s best to accommodate these needs. Just give him a Britney Spears CD and let him recover for a bit.

So there you go, Josh’s new friends. Some facts about him and some tips from me. I’m looking forward to meeting you all.

Oh, and my laptop is just working fine again, by the way. Although they keys do feel a little sticky. Does anyone know a good way to clean under the keyboard?


This has definiteley been a year of growth. Especially for Josh.

Last August we had a luau/pool party for our friend Jackie, so I made us special J+E<3 tank tops to wear. However, Josh was mortified by the creation I made, and refused to be seen in it. Getting this picture was a struggle:


By the time we reached April, he was able to don our homemade “Single Ladies” shirt for the entire school to see.


And by the time we got to May, he was ready:


Clearly it has been a year of change for Josh. There is really no telling what the future has in store for him.

Can Anybody Motivate Josh?

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet,

Since the summer before tenth grade Josh and I have had one major goal: to put on a charity production of the musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch for our Senior Exhibition. Well, the time has come to truly get moving, but poor Josh seems to be stuck.

“I just want to sit in my room and play the recorder!” he told me on the phone twenty minutes ago.

You see, my friends, we have gotten some work done. We have acquired the proper licensing and secured a venue. However, the main barrier between us and success is cold hard cash. We need to raise about $800. And I wish I could say that we are well on our way, but a certain doubtful, apathetic, cranky boy just cannot seem to get motivated.

But he doesn’t seem to listen to me. So I’m turning to you for help. And do it quickly, please. Because the holidays will suck two weeks away from us and the show is planned at the end of March.  We still have everything to do. Finding our cast, finding musicians, lights, sound, costumes, rehearsals, blocking…there is so much to do.

I want to do this so badly, and I know that Josh does too. But his chronic senioritis could be the downfall of this project.

So, friends, it’s up to you:  motivate Josh by leaving a heartfelt comment. I need your help.

Thank you,


The Others

Here is another due named Elaine and Josh. They are described by their friends in this Photobucket video as “The Lost Backstreet Boys”.

Is that what we’re going to be like when we’re older? Drunkenly singing karaoke at friend’s weddings? Maybe we’ll be able to break out the “Single Ladies” dance for them.

I guess the main question is, will we have any friends who’s wedding’s we can attend, and will any of them still think we’re funny enough to post on the Internet?

Opinions: The Jonas Brothers

Tonight in the cultural capital of America (San Diego, duh), we are blessed with the visit of the boy-band phenomenon: The Jonas Brothers. The numbers and screaming girls don’t lie: they are extremely popular and extremely loved. But what do the pop culture savvy Elaine and Josh think about the trio?

Nick, Kevin and Joe Jonas.

Nick, Kevin and Joe Jonas.

ELAINE: I despise the Jonas Brothers with every fiber of my being. First of all, look at them. I mean REALLY look at them. They are all horribly unattractive! I always hear people talking about how hot they are, but sorry, no. Kevin Jonas looks like a pig. The nose makes it uncanny. But getting past the superficial level, let’s talk about the music. Sorry. What music? Believe me, I understand that music does not need to be art to be good; sometimes a sing-a-long track or dance music is so much better then something that’s supposed to be meaningful, but come on! But I’ll be honest, the main reason I hate them is their purity rings. Gross! Who wants to fantasize about these asexual Christian “rock stars”? Can it get any more boring? They themselves seem like the most boring people in the world.

Let’s review: ugly, untalented, conservative and traditional…that is not something I want anywhere near my life, let alone my iPod. Not when there are alternatives like the pretty, mega-talented, and crazy Britney out there.

JOSH: No, I don’t have some sort of inferiority complex. No, I’m not vengefully jealous. It’s simple: I don’t like the Jonas Brothers. Admittedly, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to one of their songs all the way through and luckily life makes it so I don’t have to. No director wants their music in movies or TV Shows (with the exception of Disney Channel). No DJ ever plays their music on the radio (with the exception of Radio Disney). No store owner wants to play their music over the speakers (with the exception of the Disney store and Limited Too).

I’ve heard the Jonas Brothers likened to the Beatles and that’s just absolutely preposterous. If anything, this is just another Disney commercial success– another Mickey Mouse if you will. How could these 3 “musicians” who sing conservative songs about liking girls who don’t like them back and the like be anything like the Beatles? The Beatles were shocking for their time; they sang about sex. They were parents’ worst nightmares. The Jonas Brothers need parental acceptance or their fan base would collapse. You know who the Jonas Brothers remind me of? Hansen. And 10 years after Hansen, how many Hansen songs can you name from memory? One? Maybe two if you were a “fan” back then. How many Beatles songs can you name? Everyone can name at least 5, maybe even 10. And it’s been almost 50 years since the Beatles exploded. An average person could even name 5 Britney Spears songs.

How many Jonas Brothers songs can I name?

Just one. And I have a feeling that number isn’t ever going to change.

Elaine’s Tweets

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Josh’s Tweets

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