Last night a longtime fantasy was fulfilled: I went to a strip club.
Maybe it’s because driving along San Diego’s highways, you always pass them. The purple one, the yellow one, the pink one that offers military discounts…or maybe it’s because of my love for the film Showgirls. But I’d always dreamed of going ingo one.
So after a bit of research, Josh and I, with some other game friends, headed to San Diego’s Les Girls, located by the Sports Arena.
After parking in the alley in front of the club, we began to have second thoughts. But it was too late. We had come too far to turn back.
Entering the club, we were greeted by an older woman who I imagine all the dancers call Mama and share tips with. After paying our five dollars each, we got a hand-stamp which read “Wild Sweet” which allowed us to come in and out until 2 AM. A lingerie clad stripper ushered us behind a curtain and into the show room.
Unlike Nomi Malone’s strip club in Showgirls, which was in a bar, Les Girls is set up like a theater. As we entered, a girl was finishing her set and picking up the dollar bills thrown at her feet by the man sitting by himself in the front row. It was very empty, just that man and us. Well, at least we thought so. Then we spotted the man curled up in one of the booths in back, happily lying on the bench.
We watched three more strippers perform. Their acts went in three parts: an initial dance wearing little clothes, a topless dance, and finally, a nude one. Between these parts, lesbian porn was shown on a monitor onstage to maintain the mood.
Overall, it was kind of odd, but not uncomfortable. It was really interesting to see what real-life strippers looked like. The first two were not what I expected all all. Let’s just say that they didn’t look like Nomi Malone. More like if Nomi Malone ate Cristal Conners, and not in a sexual euphemism way, but literally consumed her. I’m saying that they were fat.
Then suddenly, Veronica was upon us. And that was what I imagined a stripper would look like. When she came back out after her dance to collect her dollar bills with a blanket wrapped around her, we all cheered and she sassily dropped the blanket as she walked out.
Kitty was next. Another perfect specimen. She surprised us by having another girl jump onstage with her and they pulled off each other’s tops and humped each other. Sweet!!
After an hour of watching the naked ladies dance, we decided that it was time to go. We were feeling really mature until we entered the lobby and Mama said, “So are you ready to buy some dances?” We immediately started giggling and ran away.
And that was our night at the strip club. Living in sin is the new thing.