Giving Up Perez Hilton

Hi. My name is Elaine, and I’m a celebrity gossip-aholic.

It’s a common enough affliction that many people suffer from, however, it’s not totally joyless.

That is, except for PerezHilton.com.

I’ve checked his website, several times a day, for at least a year or two now. And today I am proud to tell you that I have not been to his site for over a week. I haven’t even been tempted.

I always knew that his site was stupid. I mean, he is the man famous for crudely drawing cum stains/pee/cocaine over his tabloid pictures with MS Paint. But as his popularity has (unfortunately) grown, so has his ego. The thing that bothers me the most about Perez is that he thinks that his readers actually care about him. He wants to be a celebrity himself. He posts pictures of himself and talks about who he’s met and even posts pictures of his fucking dog.

The truth is, that he is talentless and desperate and not in the least bit clever or witty, as he seems to think. His news isn’t even new, and of course, he frequently targets not just child celebrities, but children of celebrities. Just last week he called Jamie Lynn Spears’ baby girl a bastard. And I think that we can all agree that that is not okay.

The moment I knew that I had to leave Perez for good was when he posted something about Fergie, and he drew an arrow pointing to her face with the word “fug” written behind it. It made me feel bad for him. Who is this sad little man who just has to break everyone down to be satisfied? I know that he would like nothing better than for someone like Lindsey Lohan to overdose. That would be a real scoop.

In conclusion, he’s just a giant douche. My quality of life has already improved with him gone.

Besides, there are so many better places to go for some good celebrity gossip.