AUSTRALIA: The Land Down Under HELL

About a year ago from today, Elaine and Josh hosted a fabulous “Showgirls” themed party that was complete with a living room stylized as a stripper bar and an adjacent room for special “private” dances. Coincidentally, many of our friends were hosting Australian exchange students through an exchange program run through our school, so we thought it would be fun for everyone if we invited our friends and their Aussies. However, the success of this party was hampered by none other than those of Australian birth.

Now, I’m not racist– I mean, we cordially invited them as guests to our party– but WTF is wrong is Australians these days? I mean they were wonderful in creating beautiful, popular people like Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe (and we all know even he has quite the temper), but what went wrong with the rest of this forsaken continent?

I turn your attention to this very disturbing article:

WARNING: ARTICLE CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN! (but click here anyways kids!)

That’s right folks. Australians, blessed with the opportunity to see Britney Spears live, actually physically left the venue demanding for their money back?!! Not only is this sacrilege, it’s also just plain stupid– they didn’t get to see Brit flying through the air during “Breathe on Me”!

They did the same thing to us at our “Showgirls” party, and now they’ve done it again to Britney Spears. Why can’t Australians ever stay at events they promise to attend? It’s obvious that Australians don’t understand or appreciate the beauty of beings like Britney Spears and Nomi Malone.

It’s worth mentioning that the people who left were in the cheap nosebleed seats and were probably old heffers. But they were also Australian, and I think this says more than any of the other descriptions.

So Boshers, next time you encounter an Australian, be wary. They might literally be from Down Under the Earth in the realms of Hell.

P.S. HOWEVER, all the Aussie Brit fans who loved the Perth concert– you are pardoned, and I hope you to stay strong amongst your ignorant neighbors!

Britney Bless One and All,

Josh

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2 Responses to “AUSTRALIA: The Land Down Under HELL”


  1. 1 jepartyservice November 9, 2009 at 4:12 am

    These people are sinners.

    And just plain retarded.

    Let’s be honest here. Everyone knows that Britney lip syncs. It’s just a fact.

    But why??

    BECAUSE HAVE YOU SEEN THE WAY SHE DANCES DURING THE SHOW?!?! She can’t fucking sing while doing that!

    Brit’s performance is about the show, the spectacle, the circus. It’s not about the music.

    I can’t believe that any Britney fan would actually be disappointed by The Circus Starring Britney Spears to the point where they would walk out. They were obvs not BSpears fans in the first place, and therefore heathens.

  2. 2 jepartyservice November 9, 2009 at 7:00 am

    Isn’t it ridiculous that they expected her to sing LIVE?? I’m pretty sure the whole world knew that she was going to be lip-synching…

    WHAT DO THE FUCKING AUSTRALIANS WANT FROM HER???


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Elaine:

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