Overheard on the Bus

I remember when John Waters told me (well, me and the rest of the hundred people at his show) that he gets his best dialogue ideas from eavesdropping on the street. Lines like a son asking his father, “Why is Mommy crying?” and the father responding, “Because you’re an asshole!”

Well, I’ve been lucky enough to here some pretty good lines on the bus so far. Last week there was this one:

Girl: Yeah, I think I’m gonna get a few more big ones. [In reference to her tattoos]

Boy: But they’re so expensive! Where do you get the money?

Girl: I get child support every Sunday.

Now, there are two clear interpretations for this. Is she getting child support from her own dead beat dad…or from her baby’s daddy?

Then today, I heard this one:

Girl #1: I quit smoking last week, but I wish I hadn’t.

Girl #2: Do you want a cigarette? I just bought a pack.

Girl #1: Okay!

It’s always good to help a friend, right?

I love taking the bus because people tend to talk really loudly with no discretion. I like to then obsess for the rest of the ride about how these people’s lives work. It’s okay to eavesdrop in the name or art, right?


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