1, 2, 3 Not Only You and Me

Well, today Brit’s “3” is out on iTunes, and you’d better buy it! As of this posting, “3” is number 4 on the iTunes Chart! That is so wrong! That bitch Miley Cyrus is number 1! Buy the single to put Britney where she rightfully belongs: at the top.

Or on top?

On that note, and in the spirit of “3”, I’d like to make a list of possible candidates for a fantasy threeway with Britney. There’s you, Brit…and then who else?

1. Beyoncé

beyonce-knowles-mumbai-1027-4_4725b65e56de3

Pros: Mz. B probably owns some sexy lingerie and she and Britney could preform a nice duet.

Cons: I’d be scared of Jay-Z’s wrath. Also, they might get in a divalicious catfight. Then again, that might not be such a bad thing…

2) Paris Hilton

PEOPLE HILTON

Pros: Paris could score us a swanky hotel suite in any city we wanted. And remember her sexy performance in REPO’s deleted scene “Come Up and Try My New Parts”? That bitch is sexy! I would fuck her soul.

Cons: I’ve already seen that shit. Plus it would be in every tabloid the next day…which, again, could be a good or a bad thing. And to quote Brit, her “pussy is hanging out” in the above photo. And does that cross the line into trashy? Or is that what I’m doing right now in fantasizing about my dream three-way partner with Britney?

3) Dr. Frank N Furter

2250546523_57dd0e38cd_o

Pros: Where to begin…

Cons: He’s def not into long-term commitments.

4) Nomi Malone

Showgirls_2.0.0.0x0.432x325

Pros: The Nomes definitely knows what she’s doing in bed (or in the pool (or in the backroom)) .

Cons: She might expect to be paid for her inclusion, and she would probably be on drugs at the time. Also, there’s no telling what diseases Brit and I would be left with after she goes. But she probably wouldn’t even do it because a) she’s “not a whore” and b) she’d probably be on her period.

5) Rum Tum Tugger

tugger1

Pros: The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat!

Cons: He has so many admirers that it might be hard to ever get him alone (or, alone with Brit and I).

6) Patricia Heaton

patricia-heaton-picture-1

Pros: She’s so sweet and endearing on the outside…she must secretly be wild.

Cons: That bitch wouldn’t show up. She’d get “held up” somewhere.

So there you have it. Who would you consider to be in your three-way with Brit?

And don’t forget to buy “3” on iTunes!!

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