I… was invited… to a real… RAGER!!!

Today marks a glorious day.

Not only is this my first blog post in approximately 2 months, I have reached the pinnacle of my high school social career… after high school ended.

Yes that’s right folks, I, Joshua Lin, was invited to a real life, let’s get shit-faced, down and dirty rager.

Of course, I didn’t actually go. But that’s beside the point.

The point is, is that I was invited! Or at least a close friend was (most likely accidentally) invited via text message and I begged him to forward me the text.

It went something like this:

“Rager at wallace’s tonight at six, invite everyone BYOB –Raquel”**

**names have been changed to protect identities.

Okay, so everyone was invited, but it’s not like everyone at SRHS got the text. Thus, this makes me a more popular “everyone”.

I wish I had gone, but I was having a lot of fun playing “Truth or Dare Jenga” which is a lot cooler than it sounds, trust me.

For those of you not used to Scripps Ranch/Southern Californian teenager jargon, here is a brief description of Scripps Ranch party terms as I have been taught (Britney knows that I’ve never experienced any of these first hand).

Rager (RUI-jer); (noun):

  1. A wild house party, usually when someone’s parents are away. Delicate antiques and items will be broken if not properly stored and the host should expect to clean up a considerable amount of vomit. These events are usually BYOB to maximaze alcohol supply, unless the host is filthy rich. Traditional frat games go on, the most famous being beer pong, and dancing is attempted, but usually people end up too drunk to do much else but remove articles of clothing and get frisky. Substances other than alcohol may be present, usually marijuana. These events traditionally take place at night.
  2. Other forms and variants: “rage” (verb form, “raged” past participle), “dayger” (noun, meaning a rager that takes place in the middle of the day)
  3. WARNING: people have been known to have been raped or physically harmed during ragers.

Kickback (KIK-bahk); (noun):

  1. A tame party under the influence of alcohol. The host and guests do not get shit-faced, instead they have a couple beers and just sit around. This is what adults could relate to a civilized office party. Hopefully for the guests, the alcohol is supplied, or else the host is just downright cheap. Not much else besides talking and sitting goes on at these events.
  2. Other forms or variants: a kickback may not exclusively involve alcohol and may also include substances such as marijuana, hooka, and cocaine (for cheerleaders).

DP (DEE-pee); (noun):

  1. An abbreviation for “dance party”.  A DP is a moderate house party that involves alcohol but actually focuses on dancing and music in a dark room. Presumably, dancing occurs at such events but really it is just a rhythmic disguise for sex. These parties, or at least the better ones, are cleverly themed in such a way that females can arrive in a slutty costume and still be socially acceptable. Previous examples include “CEO’s and Business Hoes” and “Anything But Clothes”. These themes are usually stolen from the best college party ideas. Any and all substances may be used at such parties.
  2. WARNING: often times, these parties will escalate to ragers, thus making the two terms indiscernible from each other.

Mad (mah-d); (adjective):

  1. used to describe any rager or DP that is extremely wild. A major criterion is whether or not people remember what happened at the party the morning after. If they do, the party was not mad.

Now that you are armed with a new arsenal of party words, go out there and give it a shot! Now that I’m finally being invited, I know I sure will!

HAPPY RAGING!

Love,

Josh

P.S. Keep an eye out for a new designated driver service in Scripps Ranch!

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3 Responses to “I… was invited… to a real… RAGER!!!”


  1. 1 jepartyservice June 21, 2009 at 9:05 am

    Is this an actual blog post…by JOSH? What’s happening here??

    ~ Do I need to say that this is Elaine?

  2. 2 Emily June 21, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Holy shit, I’m impressed. I never got invited to *anything* in high school.

    I do recommend getting drunk before you go to college, if you haven’t yet. It helps to know what you’re getting into.

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Contact Elaine and Josh!

Want to say something to us? Don't feel like you can post a comment? No problem! You can get in contact with us here.

Elaine and Josh:

jepartyservice@gmail.com

Elaine:

elgray21@student.scad.edu

Josh:

jl3456@columbia.edu


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