Thankfully, Josh and I have finished our careers Scripps Ranch High School. I know that I am speaking for both of us when I say that we are glad to put these four years behind us.
But what about SRHS itself? A giant gap will be left in the atmosphere. How will the school function without Josh and Elaine? Will it just shut down?
Who will keep the social scene alive by throwing wild parties? Who will introduce weird/unpopular trends like Britney Spears, Tim Curry and Nomi Malone to the masses? Who will impress their peers by having enough matching t-shirts to last a month?
Luckily for those who have to endure more painful years in high school, we have found a solution. We can’t reveal their names yet (because they don’t know of our evil plan) but we have found a pair of freshman besties who we feel can fill the gaping hole that we will leave behind.
But what will they have to do to keep the spirit of Josh and Elaine alive at SRHS? Here are some suggestions:
- During lunch when there are big groups of people talking and laughing together, stand in the corner and only talk to each other
- Be able to create a language of references and inside jokes so that eavesdroppers will not be able to understand what you are saying
- Start a million overly ambitions projects at once and don’t finish any of them
- Ruin lives (or at least a life)
- Find the weirdest possible movie or celebrity and become obsessed with it/him/her
- Change your names to symbols
- Get rejected/waitlisted from your top choice college
- Flirt with others, making them think that they have a chance of becoming a third best friend, but eventually scare them away
- Be as socially anti-social as possible
- Have people know you as a description like, “those funny kids from yearbook”, but not by name
- Have people associate you with something to the point that is is impossible for them to separate you from it (i.e., Britney Spears)
- Start a “thriving” business