SparkNotes Saboteurs

I’m just like any normal high-school student. Doing my homework the night before Spring Break is over. And just like all the other normal high-schoolers, I’m getting a littl help from SparkNotes.

But WTF is this??

SparkNotes now has a section entitled “Procrastinate”! I’ve just spent an hour reading articles like “Tips on Locking Lips (Co-Kisser Not Included)“, “How to Pick a Date for Prom” and “The Benefits of Being a Band Geek/Orchestra Dork”. Thanks, SparkNotes! Now I know that a series of light lip-to-lip connections is best, to have a breath mint with me when I’m about to ask my date to prom, and that my knowledge of Sergei Rachmaninoff’s Symphony No. 3 will help me at future cocktail parties.

But and my essay isn’t even started!

Obviously if I’m on SparkNotes in the first place I’ve procrastinated enough. And now they’re literally forcing me to procrastinate more.

Good thing that they have an article called “Songs To Pull You through An All-Nighter”.

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