Opinions: The Jonas Brothers

Tonight in the cultural capital of America (San Diego, duh), we are blessed with the visit of the boy-band phenomenon: The Jonas Brothers. The numbers and screaming girls don’t lie: they are extremely popular and extremely loved. But what do the pop culture savvy Elaine and Josh think about the trio?

Nick, Kevin and Joe Jonas.

Nick, Kevin and Joe Jonas.

ELAINE: I despise the Jonas Brothers with every fiber of my being. First of all, look at them. I mean REALLY look at them. They are all horribly unattractive! I always hear people talking about how hot they are, but sorry, no. Kevin Jonas looks like a pig. The nose makes it uncanny. But getting past the superficial level, let’s talk about the music. Sorry. What music? Believe me, I understand that music does not need to be art to be good; sometimes a sing-a-long track or dance music is so much better then something that’s supposed to be meaningful, but come on! But I’ll be honest, the main reason I hate them is their purity rings. Gross! Who wants to fantasize about these asexual Christian “rock stars”? Can it get any more boring? They themselves seem like the most boring people in the world.

Let’s review: ugly, untalented, conservative and traditional…that is not something I want anywhere near my life, let alone my iPod. Not when there are alternatives like the pretty, mega-talented, and crazy Britney out there.

JOSH: No, I don’t have some sort of inferiority complex. No, I’m not vengefully jealous. It’s simple: I don’t like the Jonas Brothers. Admittedly, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to one of their songs all the way through and luckily life makes it so I don’t have to. No director wants their music in movies or TV Shows (with the exception of Disney Channel). No DJ ever plays their music on the radio (with the exception of Radio Disney). No store owner wants to play their music over the speakers (with the exception of the Disney store and Limited Too).

I’ve heard the Jonas Brothers likened to the Beatles and that’s just absolutely preposterous. If anything, this is just another Disney commercial success– another Mickey Mouse if you will. How could these 3 “musicians” who sing conservative songs about liking girls who don’t like them back and the like be anything like the Beatles? The Beatles were shocking for their time; they sang about sex. They were parents’ worst nightmares. The Jonas Brothers need parental acceptance or their fan base would collapse. You know who the Jonas Brothers remind me of? Hansen. And 10 years after Hansen, how many Hansen songs can you name from memory? One? Maybe two if you were a “fan” back then. How many Beatles songs can you name? Everyone can name at least 5, maybe even 10. And it’s been almost 50 years since the Beatles exploded. An average person could even name 5 Britney Spears songs.

How many Jonas Brothers songs can I name?

Just one. And I have a feeling that number isn’t ever going to change.

8 Responses to “Opinions: The Jonas Brothers”

  1. 1 echomikeromeo November 16, 2008 at 3:30 am

    I’ve never heard their music, but I hate them for their purity rings.

  2. 2 Ummmm November 17, 2008 at 2:46 am

    Well this is a real brain trust of an “article”….LOL

    P.S. Traditional doesn’t always equal conservative.

    P.P.S. You are clearly too old to spend this much time and thought trashing something you are trying to say is not worthwile…and doing it badly. Trust me, your apathy would be a more convincing weapon than your rabid, uninformed hatred, which just proves they are having a strong cultural impact.

    So, in conclusion – you fail.

  3. 3 jepartyservice November 17, 2008 at 2:58 am

    Dear Ummmm,

    Thanks for taking the time to read our blog and respond. You’re arguments are clearly well thought out, but alas, do now sway our minds.

    But since this is our blog, we really can write and say what we want. And thanks for being concerned about our valuable time, but this took about fifteen minutes, believe it or not!

    We’re both seventeen, by the way.

    I hope that we’ve gained a loyal reader out of you, and will see you around our blog!

    Elaine and Josh

  4. 4 jepartyservice November 17, 2008 at 3:03 am

    And when I say, “…do now sway our minds.” I really mean, “…do NOT sway our minds.”

  5. 5 X December 4, 2008 at 2:59 am

    Ahem. Please get off your fucking high horse. You are both just bunch of pretentious ass holes who like to put down others in order to make yourselves feel superior. I’m not even saying that I like the Jonas Brothers, but you need get over yourselves.
    Miss Elaine – how can you possibly hate someone based on the fact that they would like to wait until marriage to have sex? How is that gross? By the way you two talk, you are surely not engaging in any sort of mature sexual activity – unless it is with each other. As for their looks, haven’t you heard that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. You both would be lucky to find someone who though that your self-righteous ways were attractive EVER.
    And Mr. Josh. Nobody is comparing them to the Beatles based on music. It is simply a reference to the large fan-base that they have acquired so quickly.

    You two elitist bastards need to have a reality check – you are not being original or clever. You are just two sad teenagers looking to appear “mature”, while in fact your behavior exhibits a sad wanting to be “hip.”

    P.S. Don’t worry, surely you would redeem yourself by remarking to this comment with your own original idea that is sarcasm. I’ve never heard of anything quite like it before!

  6. 6 hartknight December 15, 2008 at 4:56 am

    I enjoy X’s Postscript (also knows as a PS by people too lazy to write an extra eight letters) and how it cutely says that your sarcasm ISN’T original. Your average reader might not catch that, but when you’re as as sharp as X, you see these this, and give yourself a pat on the back, like I did.

    And X, as someone who happens to enjoy the Jonas Brothers (I dunno if I’d call myself a fan, but I listen to it on occasion) I think you’re being very silly. First of all, I think the purity ring thing was not Elaine trying to say that she has a problem with abstaining from sex, and I don’t even think it was her saying that she engages in “mature sexual activity” I think she was, in fact, trying to say that she’s not a big fan of the broadcasting of abstainance in order to promote yourself. And I agree, it’s the same thing as going around and saying very loudly, “I WILL NOW GIVE THIS HOMELESS PERSON MONEY BECAUSE I AM A VERY GOOD PERSON” No one likes that guy, just like Elaine doesn’t like the Jonas Brothers.

    As for Mr Josh, of all the things he says, that’s the one you take offense at? Really? I mean, he says he has heard people comparing them to the Beatles, and your response is “no one compares them to the beatles”? The boy heard them. With his ears. Or maybe read them. With his eyes. I think it’s a wee bit easier to say something about this: “Admittedly, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to one of their songs all the way through and luckily life makes it so I don’t have to.”

    Finally, this is the internet. We don’t need to start anything with ahem. Ever. On the internet, we type with out fingers. Our fingers don’t have throats that need to be cleared. If you say “ahem” before you type, in an attempt to be cute, no one cares. Or thinks it’s cute. Also, it’s really rude to cuss someone out in your first real sentence. Especially when you’re trying to show those people how childish their arguments are.

  7. 7 radio November 6, 2014 at 10:22 am

    What’s up, its good paragraph concerning media print, we
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  1. 1 The Most Annoying Things About 2008 « Bosh With Elaine and Josh Trackback on December 31, 2008 at 7:44 am

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