Why I’m Not Applying to Harvard

Ladies and Gentlemen, there is much  to tell about our exciting weekend, but first, let me regale you with a story I’ll call: “Why I’m Not Applying to Harvard”:

We had just had an exciting day, and Josh dropped me back off at my house at approximately 4:35 PM.

Mom mom’s car was in the driveway and the porch light was on.

I rang the door bell.

No one answered.

I never carry a key with me because someone is always home, and it’s really just become a habit not to carry one.

I tried the back door and the side door. No luck.

I tried to pick the locks with a hair pin. No luck.

I called my mom, dad and sister’s cell phones for about forty-five minutes straight. It got dark. I kept calling.

Around 5:50, I actually started to get nervous. I thought of all the scenarios that would take my entire family away from their phones and why my mom’s car would still be there.

I went to my neighbor’s house who I remembered would have a key, but they didn’t answer the door.

I started to think of all the people I could call that could pick me up and let me sleep at their house.

I started to think about how I would get home from school tomorrow.

Finally, at 6:01 PM, my sister called.

Sister: Elaine? Why have you been calling me so much?

Elaine: (frantic) Where are you????

Sister: I’m at cheer.

Elaine: Where’s Daddy????

Sister: Picking me up from cheer.

Elaine: I’ve been waiting out here for an hour and a half! Everything’s locked!

Sister:Did you try the garage door?

Elaine: Of course! It’s locked!

Sister: Did you use the code?

Elaine: Oh…

And that’s when I realized that although I had tried the side door that led into the garage…I had completely forgotten the garage door itself.

I typed in the code and entered the house within thirty seconds.

And that is why I’m not applying to Harvard.

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1 Response to “Why I’m Not Applying to Harvard”


  1. 1 jepartyservice November 4, 2008 at 5:47 am

    I really didn’t get that text you sent me saying you felt “homeless and unloved” until today.

    What. a. nub.


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Contact Elaine and Josh!

Want to say something to us? Don't feel like you can post a comment? No problem! You can get in contact with us here.

Elaine and Josh:

jepartyservice@gmail.com

Elaine:

elgray21@student.scad.edu

Josh:

jl3456@columbia.edu


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