America’s Best Dance Crew Analysis

So the first season of America’s Best Dance Crew (called ABDC by young hipsters) flew by without even stirring me, but after a non-stop marathon of reruns today on MTV leading up to tonight’s finale, I have to say I’m stirred!

I guess I like it for the same reason I like Olympic gymnastics, diving, and table tennis— I enjoy seeing people do amazing things with their bodies that really shouldn’t be possible.

But perhaps the only thing more fascinating than the dance crews is the show’s executive producer! The one and only Randy Jackson! Not only does the official title of the show have to be “Randy Jackson Presents America’s Best Dance Crew” (but obviously RJPABDC isn’t very catchy), the man himself came out on stage to present the winners with a trophy! I almost swooned!

I’ve been searching the world wide web for a picture of what Mr. Jackson was wearing but I can’t find one, so I’ll just have to describe it.

Imagine a diamond encrusted eagle. Imagine Randy Jackson walking down the street in a black button-down shirt. The diamond encrusted eagle flies over Randy Jackson and drops a diamond encrusted crap on his shoulder. Randy brushes it off. The eagle, not discouraged, swoops down and flies straight into Randy Jackson’s chest. And that’s the end for the eagle. He’s just become a decal on Randy Jackson’s shirt.


2 Responses to “America’s Best Dance Crew Analysis”

  1. 1 BBoy August 25, 2008 at 11:42 pm

    Randy Jackson is my bitch.

  2. 2 jepartyservice August 25, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    Well BBoy, if what you say is true and Randy Jackson is indeed your bitch, please tell Randy to never wear that shirt again.

    For the sake of humanity, please!


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